Unfinished

I want to tell you about my trip to see Beth Moore. Not because she stood and spoke a good word of self-forgiveness less than two feet away from me, though she did. Not because of the worship, though it was amazing and exhilarating to praise God with 7,000 sisters while Travis Cottrell’s team took us to church. I felt like I was back in my gospel choir days, singing in churches across Philly.

You didn’t know that about me, did you?

This event? It was a little glimpse of the kingdom of God here on earth. More denominationally diverse than any Living Proof Live in 17 years. Women in tiaras walking in to sit in stadium seats beside Mennonite sisters. Teenagers and grandmas lifting hands in praise together and women choosing to follow Jesus for the first time from all races and backgrounds. It was the church. And she was beautiful.

I went to the event anxious. I’ve been overwhelmed, insecure, and fighting loneliness lately, and I was running on empty. This was a mini getaway to be filled up, to soak in the Word of God, and to leave all the rest of it at the foot of the cross. I walked out of the arena feeling free. Lighter in spirit than I have in a very long time.

As Ms. Beth spoke on the significance of “40 days” (and 40 years) in Scripture, I listened. Instead of feeling obligated to live Tweet every sentence and take every note, I relaxed into the message God had for me. I’m a little bit of a nerd when it comes to great Bible teaching, and because I’m not an expert in it AT all, I get such a thrill when someone can take one piece like that and show how God weaves it’s significance throughout the entire Bible. From Old Testament to New, God’s promises are kept and the threads of the connections are beautiful. And I felt God whisper, “See. I’m not done with you yet, daughter.” Because the truth is? In the rush to get to the next thing, the next dream, the next moment, the next milestone, I’ve wondered if maybe He was done. But digging in that deep into Scripture was the comfort my heart needed. Whether it happens in a few days, weeks, or 40 years – God’s timing is perfect.

I was so blessed this past weekend to get another glimpse of that “kingdom on earth” beauty. I spoke at a Mother/Daughter banquet to a room full of amazing women – ranging in age from infant to great-grandmother, and I was able to share with them some of what Ms. Beth shared. I was able to tell them that “in our brokenness is space for grace” and that we can let go of the expectation to do it all and do it perfectly, because “if we can do it in our own WILL, we WILL worship ourselves.” Ms. Beth spoke to 7000 women who wrote down and tweeted her every word and 7 days later I spoke to a room of less than 70 who did none of those things. You won’t find a hashtag for the event, or a list of amazing things I said on Twitter. There were no notebooks, iPhones snapping photos, or any of the things I’ve come to expect at an event. But it was beautiful, and it was just where God wanted me, and I received more love & hugs & ice cream and blessings than my heart could hold.

God’s not done yet, sister. And I, for one, can’t wait to see what He has planned next!