They make it look so easy. Two 3-year olds who have only met once before and are suddenly best friends. Madi looks for her new buddy whenever we’re at church and remembers to pray for him at night. She invites him to color and play games and they’re suddenly inseparable.
I don’t think they’ve actually spoken more than a handful of sentences to one another, but they’re friends. Thick as thieves in the back corner of the living room while the adults chat and get to know one another. All we heard were giggles as they connected over…something.
And I sat in my chair envying my toddler her ability to make friends so easily. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we could still make friends simply by asking someone if they wanted to color? Or deciding that we would be friends because there were no other kids our age to play with? Then to remember to pray for them – not because they ask or expect it, but because it’s just what we do for our friends.
I wonder if I sometimes make friendship too complicated. Once you’ve been hurt by women it’s hard to jump back in and feel comfortable around new people. My heart continues to be guarded long after God has healed and redeemed the hurt. I assume the reaction will be rejection – and that is a sad way to meet new people.
What if we could make friends the way our littles do? By inviting someone to do something with us that we both love? If I’m honest, I saw it happen that same night, while the kiddos were off giggling and playing. It was a simple invitation to make a bracelet with women I’m just starting to get to know, and it meant more than I could ever express to them.
Because for this mama who works full-time from home, who is still recovering from friendship scars and who finds herself less secure in her place in these settings, having someone invite me in feels like healing. It feels like hope.
We didn’t share life stories or talk about anything more than our inability to tie a decent macrame knot. It was simply another piece added to a new puzzle – each invitation and genuine “get to know you” question combining to form a picture of friendship I never expected.
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I’d love to know: am I the only one who overcomplicates friendship? What has been the most simple way a new friend has invited you in to their life?
I always think back to my grade school best friend- we decided to be best friends because we had matching trapper keepers. How simple things were then. I find making friends as adults so much more challenging – probably because your history of hurts and rejections is so much larger.
I’ve heard it said that men communicate better laterally, that is, side-by-side while doing something together. I think the same can be said of women. Having that common activity in front of you dials down awkwardness and the defenses. Love the thinking behind this post!
What a good point! I have always I laughed in amazement at my kid’s definition of “friend” but had never stopped to consider that maybe they are really onto something!
They make it so beautifully simple, don’t they?