“…the words He gives are a gift to be given away…” – Kris Camealy
“…the praises of God are worthless next to the love of God….” – Kris Camealy
“Often it is being faithful to tuck our words into the small places that matter most… – Lysa Terkeurst” – Stacey Thacker
“…Your ministry is valuable beyond words…write!” – Stacey Thacker
I don’t know why I should keep writing. It doesn’t really seem like it matters. No one is knocking down my door to offer me a book deal, or a fancy opportunity, or even share my posts to some kind of “viral” status. I’ve gone a little silent on social media lately too, purely out of lack of time and a wonderful new job, but I’m pretty sure I’m not missed. The community that I worked so hard to be part of, to build, to cultivate? It seems to be going along just fine without me. Thriving, actually.
I’d like to tell you that those are someone else’s thoughts, that I’m much more centered, grounded, and happy to write because I love it and not for anything worldly. God has revealed otherwise this weekend. I find myself in a very hard place, an in between place. I feel like I’m at the point in blogging and writing where I need to make big decisions, and I’m not sure why or where to go.
If I want to succeed as any kind of recognized writer, I have a bunch of “big blogger” rules I need to follow. Simple ones, like switch to WordPress. Complicated ones, like finding a “niche” for my blog, brainstorming book ideas (plural. more than 4. less than 6. apparently). If I choose a “niche” will I lose my passion?
If I choose to do what I’ve always done, then will I always stay here? And what do I think about “here?” Does staying “here” force me to stay small…and does small equal invisible?
So instead of doing anything, I’m stuck. I’m afraid to move forward, afraid to write anything, completely paralyzed by the decisions, opportunities, options and considering just throwing in the towel. Walking away because the choices are daunting, the time to do the work impossible to find, and forever facing “her”…you know, the one who writes it better, bigger, first, fancier. You know what? I think that’s right where the enemy wants me.
In a humble, nearly flat on my face before God moment I reached out to two women who I trust. Women I know speak truth over my life – even when it’s not the easy word to hear. My head knew what they would say before they said it, but my heart needed to hear affirmation and encouragement from someone else. Anyone else. But out of the very few things I’ve learned over the years, I know that bringing these fears into the light diminishes their scary-power by about a million. So they told me what they believed.
Do I believe it yet? I’m not sure. But I’m writing. And maybe you need to hear their wisdom today, too. Since I’m nothing if not transparent, I’m going first – sharing my anxieties & fears here so that through the sweet truth from my friends, you might also be encouraged to keep going.
Just keep doing the thing, friend.