Opinionated Cats, Princesses, and Toothpaste Drama

In many of the little bios I have online in the different spaces where I write, I call myself a toddler-wrangling mama. And in case anyone ever gets the idea from edited photos & short status updates that we’ve got it all together over here, I thought I’d share something with you that I included in a talk this past weekend. When I say that I wrangle a toddler, it’s often more like herding cats. Very opinionated cats with selective hearing and a passion for princesses.

If you think I haven’t begun to use that princess obsession to my advantage, you’d be wrong. I discovered the other week that Madi let me put her hair in pigtails when I used the phrase “Do you want mommy to give you princess ponies?” Lightbulb moment! Apparently if you relate everything to a princess, it becomes instantly acceptable.

Do you want to wear your princess dress today?

We should wear your princess shoes to church!

Do you want to take a princess bubble bath?

Oooh yummy princess vegetables!

Ok so I haven’t actually used those last two  – yet – but I’m not above it. It’s only a matter of time.

If I’m honest, we even have princess toothpaste in our house. Which is amazing! It tastes like bubble gum! It’s pink! And did I mention the princesses? I had a moment the other day when I felt like the world’s most amazing mom. My kiddo ran off to the bathroom and started running water. Not unusual, but I thought checking in might be a good idea, so I called over and asked what she was doing.

“I brushin my teeth mama!

Oh. Well. I patted myself on the back for my excellent mothering skills. Look at us, raising a toddler who would go brush her teeth without prompting. I think there are probably awards for parenting excellence like this. I kept folding the pile of laundry and slowly realized that the water was still running.

And it was oddly quiet.

No big deal, right? Surely it’s all fine. She probably decided to start to learn to read extraordinarily early and was just browsing a Doc McStuffins book while simultaneously brushing her teeth and studying for her doctorate.

Or she was squirting pink bubble gum princess toothpaste all over the bathroom. And herself. Sticky pink globs of overpriced toddler toothpaste smooshed into our grout, her shirt, and probably her hair but I stopped looking too closely. I gave her a bath the other night and discovered still more toothpaste stuck to the bottom of her footstool.

It’s still there.

So in case you wonder “how does she do it all?” Yeah. I don’t. You’re welcome 😉