I’m wearing a fancy new fitness tracker on my wrist as I write this – the kind that reminds me when I need to get up and move, drink more water, climb a flight of stairs, counts calories and points out how badly I sleep. That last one isn’t so helpful, and I’m pretty sure whoever designed this thing didn’t realize that mamas with toddlers simply don’t rest.
23 times last night I was restless. Four times I was awake. The night before I was the nearly the same: awake four times and restless 22 times. I don’t sleep well, and it doesn’t take a bracelet on my wrist that I still haven’t quite figured out to tell me that I’m weary.
My body isn’t the only part of me that feels restless right now. My soul is feeling it, too, and no fitness tracker created can tell me how to fix it. I can’t healthy-eat my way to a satisfied soul. I can’t Zumba my way into a restful heart. And I definitely can’t hydrate my way into what I really need right now, but the answer is simple and uncomplicated. I need Jesus.
This time last year I was a few days into my new role at (in)courage and terrified that it was all going to be taken away – that somehow I would wake up from this dream and everyone around me would realize I wasn’t qualified or capable to do this ministry. So I ignored the New Years Resolutions and goals and to-do-lists and chose my One Word: “capable.” Because I needed desperately a word that would remind me to give myself grace on the days where I simply wasn’t capable to do what I’d been tasked to do – but God always is, and He would provide.
And He did. He does. He always will.
I didn’t expect to choose a word for 2015. I thought I would go back to my usual fitness and weight loss goals, tell myself I’d drink less coffee and eat more green vegetables and then somewhere in February realize that chocolate is my love language and throw in the towel. But my word for 2015? It found me. God whispered it over and over again as I prayed and asked Him for an easy 3 step process to rid myself of this weariness. He affirmed in conversations with friends as I recorded my 31 Days series. He reminded me of it again last week through a quote a friend posted on Facebook. My word for 2015?
My heart sighs relief when I say the word. It’s a slowing down to enjoy what life will bring, not laziness or inaction, but purposeful, quiet, slow, enjoyment. It’s choosing to be present and take each day one taste at a time, to soak in the laughter, to acknowledge the tears, to replace instant gratification and unreasonable expectations with presence. And it’s my reminder to sit, to be still and be grateful and trust God to do the good works He has planned for my life.
Will you head over to (in)courage today and share your One Word with us? We’re giving away a set of Letterpress Blocks – one for every 100 comments – and I’d love to see you over there!