I have to do something this weekend that I don’t want to do. In the grand scheme of things, it’s really not that terrible – I’m not going to a funeral, or losing an arm, or having to shovel two truck loads of dirt (did that one LAST weekend). Regardless, my very very stubborn side is refusing to find any silver lining at all. Sparing unnecessary details, it is safe to say that God and the enemy are both working on me with this one.
Which is exactly why I felt specifically convicted during my Bible study time this morning. Kelly Minter rocks it out of the park every day, but this morning God used what she’d written to tug on my heart. She writes:
“I believe we all deeply long to be invited “to the table.” It represents all things that speak belonging, acceptance, and the honor of being chosen.” (Ruth, pg. 76).
I love to be invited to do things- who doesn’t? There is nothing quite like being part of a group where the existing members make you feel warm, welcome, and like they’ve been waiting for you to join to complete their circle. It’s true hospitality. When you look at the examples of Boaz/Ruth and King David/Mephibosheth, I find that more character comes through in those moments of the story than anywhere else.
So what did I feel convicted about? I am no good at extending the “table” invitation to anyone else. I greedily grab it for myself, settle in, and do my best to keep everything from changing. If my Irish is up and I’m not particularly fond of someone, I find very convenient ways to keep them on the outside.I know one thing: THIS IS NOT WHO I AM CALLED TO BE! Lord knows I don’t want this particular part of my personality to be revealed, and I love so much that my God is bigger than my stubborn head!
It is only by the grace of God that I am who I am – and will be who He wants me to be, in His time.