Before we get too far into our discussion of these chapters, I want to let you know that I am so glad we’re doing this together. Depending on where we are in our own journey, some of these chapters will be revelations – eye opening moments to reveal lies that we didn’t realize we’d started to believe. Some of these chapters will be what we’re in the middle of right now and we’ll be able to appreciate the hope and guidance that Rachel shares. And some of these chapters will be reminders to celebrate how far we’ve come, as we see lies that God has helped us overcome.
Wherever we are, and however we relate to these chapters, let’s make sure we treat all the women who comment on these posts with grace and love. Let’s be women who are cheering FOR one another instead of criticizing or judging. This isn’t the time to point out typos, give advice, or make assumptions. Be kind, always.
Let’s get into it, yes?
For those of you who might be catching up, each of the chapters we’ll discuss in Rachel Hollis’ book “Girl, Wash Your Face” will identify one specific lie that she used to believe, followed by parts of her own story and several very specific and actionable items for us to try if this is a lie we need to remove from our lives.
Chapter 1
The lie: Something else will make us happy
The takeaways: The juxtaposition of a terrible hard to acknowledge lie with an absolutely hilarious opening story exemplifies why I love and relate to so much of Rachel’s writing. This is something I think we have to fight daily, especially when we have so many bossy voices all around us shouting for attention and making us feel like we’re constantly missing out. To be honest, I think I struggle more with knowing HOW to be happy than necessarily looking for specific things to make me feel that way. I don’t know that I get the kind of “happy” that isn’t affected by circumstances or emotions. On page 7 Rachel writes, “You must choose to be happy, grateful, and fulfilled. If you make that choice every single day, regardless of where you are or what’s happening, you will be happy.” I don’t know, you guys. Is that something you’ve experienced?
The discussion question: Which of Rachel’s three tips at the end of this chapter were most helpful for you? How will today look different because you’re choosing to try one of them?
Chapter 2
The lie: I’ll Start Tomorrow
The takeaways: “Later” has turned into a new four-letter-word in our house. Every time I ask my daughter to do something it’s “later.” Everything is getting done “later.” Guess what happens? Later never arrives! I’m guilty of it too – not only of putting things I don’t want to do off for another day, but also deciding to do something and never telling anyone so I don’t have to be accountable. Reading this chapter made me wonder WHY I do that – and Rachel’s quote on page 14 really made me think: “When you really want something, you will find a way. When you don’t really want something, you’ll find an excuse. How does your subconscious know the difference between what you want and what you only pretend to want? It looks at a history of how you’ve tackled similar things in the past.” Here’s a real life example of my own. What I wanted: to write a book. Did I do it? Yes, and in record time. What I pretend to want: six-pack abs and the ability to fit in size 6 jeans. How’s that working for me? Ahem. When I’m motivated, truly motivated, I’m on fire. When it feels hard, or like I’ll probably fail, “later” is my favorite day of the week.
The discussion question: What are you putting off for tomorrow that you really should do today?
Chapter 3
The lie: I’m Not Good Enough
The takeaways: Now listen. This whole chapter has Holy Hustle written all of it. Work! Yes! We were made for it! But we’re not meant to strive 24/7 without rest, without family, without time with God and other people. Rachel’s example of the physical toll her workaholic life took on her body is extreme, but our bodies really can not handle that kind of lifestyle. But I do know a thing or two about never feeling “enough” and pushing and working and doing all the things in the name of job security, community, inclusion, and even friendship. If only I could prove myself as something worth being around/keeping around, then surely I’ve done enough! What Rachel doesn’t cover in this section is that we aren’t enough – not on our own, without God. And when our priorities get all messed up in trying to prove that we are, we find ourselves burned out, struggling physically and mentally and doing a lot LESS than if we had just taken time to rest in the first place. Her list of tips? Counseling – yes. Amen. I’ve done it, I’ll probably do it again, and I highly recommend it. Hustling for joy – taking time to smile and laugh and recharge the way God made you to rest is KEY. Reordering your list – I’m still pondering this one. It’s not that I think adding myself to the priority list is selfish – I mean, I scheduled a birthday massage for myself and I CAN NOT WAIT. But I’m still trying to find that line between self-care and selfishness that seems super tricky to me.
The discussion question: Let’s answer the question at the bottom of page 28: “What would happen if you stopped moving?”
Alright readers – let’s chat! I want to hear from you in the comments or on social media. Whether you answer one or more of the questions above or you just want to share your favorite quote, let’s go!
Next: Join me on Thursday on my Facebook page for a live chat about the book and read chapters 4-6 for next week’s discussion!
Kristin, I totally resonated with your comment. I am a perfectionist/procrastinator and when it’s all or nothing, I typically choose nothing. Looking forward to finding at least one thing I can start tonight!
Crystal, I have missed your online encouragement and loved your facebook video! Hoping to stick with this one to the end and not quit!! Thanks, girl!!
The “I’ll Start Tomorrow” lie is one that really gets me. I have struggled with this my whole life. In college, if I had big papers to write, even if I knew about them weeks in advance, I would always leave them until the last minute, stressing out and getting no sleep until they were done. Now it’s “oh, I’ll start eating healthier next time I get groceries.” “I’ll email that person tomorrow.” “I’ll start trying to look for writing opportunities in a few days.” I agree with what Rachel says about finding a way or finding an excuse, but in my experience, I think the reason I find excuses isn’t so much because I don’t actually want the things I’m procrastinating on. I think I find excuses because I do want these things, but I’m scared to try them. I’m a horrible perfectionist, and I also struggle with anxiety, so those two things really affect my decisions to start or try new things. This chapter is super convicting because I’ve quit on myself more often than not, and that’s something that I really want to stop doing.
Chapter 3-takeaway: A few years ago, I had a similar situation as Rachel where I got sick and was required to just stop. Because of my stubbornness in not stopping, bronchitis turned into pneumonia. My doctor had warned me about that possibility and urged me to just stop. When I went back to her and was diagnosed with pneumonia, she looked me straight in the eye and said “do you know what a couch potato is?” I replied hesitantly “yes” and she went on to say that when she says stop that means do nothing, zilch, no movement, sleep, rest–be a couch potato. We laughed about this not really funny situation. My fear at the time was that things would not get done and there would be chaos which would reflect on me. There was like a voice telling me that my resting would not reflect well on me. Wow, that that thinking was so wrong and dangerous for my immediate health as well as overall. I remember thinking how am I going to do this with a traveling husband, an active 7 year old, work–the list went on and on. Yet, the alternative was not a good one. For the first time in a long time, I had to ask for help. Other moms came to take and pick up my son from school plus kept him busy so I could sleep. Work projects were delayed until I got better and my husband shortened his business travel. Shockers of shockers, I rested soundly and the guilt disappeared. Praise God, I healed physically and in the process learned a critical lesson–how to stop, ask for help and realize that rest is not a sign of weakness. On the seventh day, He rested…best example of what we are called to do.
Have I gone back to the old me? Sometimes I find myself almost there but there is an awareness that helps me readjust. Although there is a glimmer of “this is selfish” for a quick second on occasion, I can enjoy a day where we lounge around in PJs or scheduling with my hubby a half day for Mommy from time to time. My family notices when I have no margin left and prefers a more balanced me. In my walk with the Lord, resting in Him is critical too in order for me to live that abundant life He has for me. Old thinking: if I stop moving, chaos. Truth: If I stop moving, we move towards thriving instead of surviving. Daily reminder 🙂
Yes!!! That last old thinking/new thinking line is genius, gal. Thanks for sharing that part of your story!