Before we get too far into our discussion of these chapters, I want to let you know that I am so glad we’re doing this together. Depending on where we are in our own journey, some of these chapters will be revelations – eye opening moments to reveal lies that we didn’t realize we’d started to believe. Some of these chapters will be what we’re in the middle of right now and we’ll be able to appreciate the hope and guidance that Rachel shares. And some of these chapters will be reminders to celebrate how far we’ve come, as we see lies that God has helped us overcome.
Wherever we are, and however we relate to these chapters, let’s make sure we treat all the women who comment on these posts with grace and love. Let’s be women who are cheering FOR one another instead of criticizing or judging. This isn’t the time to point out typos, give advice, or make assumptions. Be kind, always.
Let’s get into it, yes?
For those of you who might be catching up, each of the chapters we’ll discuss in Rachel Hollis’ book “Girl, Wash Your Face” will identify one specific lie that she used to believe, followed by parts of her own story and several very specific and actionable items for us to try if this is a lie we need to remove from our lives.
The lie: Something else will make us happy
The takeaways: The juxtaposition of a terrible hard to acknowledge lie with an absolutely hilarious opening story exemplifies why I love and relate to so much of Rachel’s writing. This is something I think we have to fight daily, especially when we have so many bossy voices all around us shouting for attention and making us feel like we’re constantly missing out. To be honest, I think I struggle more with knowing HOW to be happy than necessarily looking for specific things to make me feel that way. I don’t know that I get the kind of “happy” that isn’t affected by circumstances or emotions. On page 7 Rachel writes, “You must choose to be happy, grateful, and fulfilled. If you make that choice every single day, regardless of where you are or what’s happening, you will be happy.” I don’t know, you guys. Is that something you’ve experienced?
The discussion question: Which of Rachel’s three tips at the end of this chapter were most helpful for you? How will today look different because you’re choosing to try one of them?
The lie: I’ll Start Tomorrow
The takeaways: “Later” has turned into a new four-letter-word in our house. Every time I ask my daughter to do something it’s “later.” Everything is getting done “later.” Guess what happens? Later never arrives! I’m guilty of it too – not only of putting things I don’t want to do off for another day, but also deciding to do something and never telling anyone so I don’t have to be accountable. Reading this chapter made me wonder WHY I do that – and Rachel’s quote on page 14 really made me think: “When you really want something, you will find a way. When you don’t really want something, you’ll find an excuse. How does your subconscious know the difference between what you want and what you only pretend to want? It looks at a history of how you’ve tackled similar things in the past.” Here’s a real life example of my own. What I wanted: to write a book. Did I do it? Yes, and in record time. What I pretend to want: six-pack abs and the ability to fit in size 6 jeans. How’s that working for me? Ahem. When I’m motivated, truly motivated, I’m on fire. When it feels hard, or like I’ll probably fail, “later” is my favorite day of the week.
The discussion question: What are you putting off for tomorrow that you really should do today?
The lie: I’m Not Good Enough
The takeaways: Now listen. This whole chapter has Holy Hustle written all of it. Work! Yes! We were made for it! But we’re not meant to strive 24/7 without rest, without family, without time with God and other people. Rachel’s example of the physical toll her workaholic life took on her body is extreme, but our bodies really can not handle that kind of lifestyle. But I do know a thing or two about never feeling “enough” and pushing and working and doing all the things in the name of job security, community, inclusion, and even friendship. If only I could prove myself as something worth being around/keeping around, then surely I’ve done enough! What Rachel doesn’t cover in this section is that we aren’t enough – not on our own, without God. And when our priorities get all messed up in trying to prove that we are, we find ourselves burned out, struggling physically and mentally and doing a lot LESS than if we had just taken time to rest in the first place. Her list of tips? Counseling – yes. Amen. I’ve done it, I’ll probably do it again, and I highly recommend it. Hustling for joy – taking time to smile and laugh and recharge the way God made you to rest is KEY. Reordering your list – I’m still pondering this one. It’s not that I think adding myself to the priority list is selfish – I mean, I scheduled a birthday massage for myself and I CAN NOT WAIT. But I’m still trying to find that line between self-care and selfishness that seems super tricky to me.
The discussion question: Let’s answer the question at the bottom of page 28: “What would happen if you stopped moving?”
Alright readers – let’s chat! I want to hear from you in the comments or on social media. Whether you answer one or more of the questions above or you just want to share your favorite quote, let’s go!
Next: Join me on Thursday on my Facebook page for a live chat about the book and read chapters 4-6 for next week’s discussion!