Ok – I know yesterday I said we were going to get to the happier part of this series, but I felt like I needed to address something.
Encouraging other people can be hard.
I get it. I do. Even though I’ve written blog posts saying that encouragement and envy can’t co-exist (and I do think it’s true), I also know how hard it can be. Sometimes you just don’t WANT to hear someone talk to you about the thing they got invited to do, and how they wish they didn’t have to do it, or how nervous they are about it, and all the while you’re sitting there DYING to do the very thing they’re dreading.
And sometimes you just don’t WANT to congratulate someone on a big milestone they hit on their way to their dream because you’ve been struggle to just figure out what your next step is on your own journey. You feel stuck while they’re zooming ahead.
Then there are the times where you simply can’t find it in you to WANT to see someone’s face show up as a speaker for another event you would love to just attend – speaking at it would be a dream come true. And yet, instead of giving someone new a chance it feels like the same people are getting all the opportunities and you just can’t bring yourself to say something nice.
Um. Yeah. I get it.
But I’m realizing that God isn’t necessarily in the business of what we want, but what we need. It’s ok not to want to encourage others, but for the sake of your heart and your own journey, you need to. It might not make sense right now, but I promise that you will want to be known as someone who encourages others – and not someone who is jealous of everyone.
Because one day, that event will need a new speaker, and maybe they’ll notice that you’ve been an engaged member of the community, lifting up other women while waiting your turn to rise.
Or maybe that publisher will notice that you do things differently on social media – you don’t just see numbers, you engage with people. You love them and care about them and stand out from the crowd because you are FOR them.
And even if not? Even if none of those things happen and it feels like no one ever notices the extent you go to encourage others? God sees. He knows your heart and He gives you the words you need when the words you want aren’t there. Encouraging others can be hard. But let’s do it anyway.
Questions:
- When is encouragement the hardest for you?
- Have you experienced God giving you what you need instead of what you want?
- How can you encourage someone today?
I needed this. Thanks, Crystal.
It’s hardest for me to encourage someone when I don’t have a clue how to do that. They are struggling in an area that seems impossible. What can you say except, “I’ll pray.” But hey, what better thing to say, right? We don’t have to have the answers do we. Just a caring, listening heart.
Thank you for sharing your heart on this. I needed to hear this so much!
Crystal, I love this! Your heart in it encourages me to trust God with the open doors and opportunities he desires for His glory and to be faithful in sharing how amazing He is! Thank you for being faithful!
For me, encouraging others is hardest not when someone else is doing well but when they’re actively, continually putting down others’ seeming lack of measurable success. Can be hard to balance being kind with being a doormat.
Once again, you make me examine myself. For years, I waited to be the one with the book or the speaking engagement. All the while, I was yelling at my kids and not getting out of my pjs. I knew that living authentically was way better for me and my family. If my family doesn’t see Christ in me, well, let’s just say I ain’t pretending no more. Once again, much love!
So raw and real. Thank you Crystal for your courage and words. ” God isn’t necessarily in the business of what we want but what we need.”.. I needed to read that today!
I’m so grateful there were words in there that God could use today Marcia! Thank you!