I flipped and flopped, tossed and turned. It was 4 a.m. and I was wide awake with a restless heart. My husband slept peacefully beside me and my daughter was – for once – not the reason for my early morning sleeplessness. I snuggled into my pillow and whispered “Okay God…you want me awake?”
Yes.
When God wants you awake to spend time with Him, even at 4 a.m., there’s no way to say no.
I rolled over, grabbed a sweater and stumbled out to the living room, moonlight reflecting on snow creating a soft path to my desk. The previous few days had been hard. A discouraging phone call, doubt over the impact of my words, the pull of platform verses community, exhaustion in the midst of being an encouragement for others – because that’s not the easy path to stay on, and the enemy likes to discredit my work and the desires of my heart by filling my head with selfish needs.
In the quiet of those early morning margin hours my heart cried out to God.
Is it worth it?
Yes.
But what about….
Let it go.
Will the opportunity be there if I don’t chase it right now?
Yes.
And when I asked God for affirmation and encouragement that these words and this space and my story matter? He showed up and showed off. Comments on blog posts, Instagram, Voxer messages from friends pointing me to read or listen to something they felt that I needed to hear.
If you’re doubting today if choosing the harder road of cheering on others while you’re in a place of waiting is worth it? Let me promise you that it is. Let me stand up and drown out the voice of the enemy because what you are doing as you lift up someone else with your words? I promise that you are changing lives and hearts. When you bravely reach out and tell someone how much they mean to you, when you stand beside them, walk with them, listen deeply over coffee and pour into their lives? You are braver and more wildly wonderful than you will ever know.
God wants us to love others. The enemy wants us to think it’s all about “me.”
We will be tricked into feeling left out, left behind, over looked, ignored, passed up. We will be exhausted and worn out because the very acts of intentional encouragement and choosing grace are hard, hard work. It’s much easier to stay absorbed in our own lives and make choices that benefit ME. That choice? It takes very little work.
Your words matter.
Your story makes a difference.
Keep going, friend. As many cups of coffee as it takes.
Loved this one too! Saving it for later because I am sure I am going to need to refer to it again! Blessings!
this has encouraged me to push on.
my heart just stood up and applauded. YOU are changing lives, sister. thankyou.
“Intentional encouragement”.. wow, what a phrase. And the thing I always find amazing? When you choose that path, somehow what seems hard, gets easier and when you choose the “but it’s all about me” path, in a strange way, it gets so much harder. A week ago, I had no idea who you were Crystal. But I like to think, God has a plan. The first words I heard from you were something about running wildly, flailing toward that plan.;-) I loved that. I still picture you like that, even though we’ve never met. (I hope if we ever do, you will come running wildly flailing – lol) I think we strive so hard sometimes in the wondering – particularly the wondering if we matter – (I’ve read countless blogs this week where women are pouring out their hearts wondering if anyone cares at all to read what they are thinking and saying… questioning that profoundly.. do I really matter?) that we forget we don’t really have to DO anything for that to be truth. If we could relax and just be who God made us to be, all that beauty will smoosh into the ones who need it most. I really believe that.:)
Thank you. Thank you so much for being such a rockstar of a cheering section! Your words consistently remind me of the courage that we have in Christ, not in ourselves. Thank you for faithfully speaking words of LIFE!!!
Thank You, Father God, for putting Crystal’s message in front of me today. Your timing is so perfect. You, God, knew I needed to read this today! The world/society has a way of pushing me into discouragement and doubt that I am even able to do life and that my trying is a waste. Thank You, Father God, for showing up in such mind blowing ways to wipe about those insecurities. It is not my intention to take Your name in vain, please forgive me Father God. I praise and worship everything about You. In Jesus’ precious name, amen!
{{sniffle}}…that, my friend, was beautiful. Blessed to be the home for that wonderful prayer.
Crystal, I love how God uses you. I may not read every single post you put up every single day… but, when I need to read something, God knows just the perfect time to place what He wants each of us to His message to lift us up. Today, my friend, was that day for this post to me.
Absolutely amazing! God is using you to breathe life & encouragement into my heart. THANK YOU!! I love your ministry, your heart & your words-appreciate the gift you share with us every time you write! Be blessed, Crystal, be blessed! ♥
Love this. The Lord is so faithful to provide exactly what we need. Bless you, sister!
I was thinking the other day of the sweet time we had to chat at Allume and wishing we could do it all again soon. And then I read your words today and I miss you more…girl, your heart for community has changed mine. Just want you to know you make a difference. You matter. And I can’t wait to see what He does…or keeps doing…through you. 🙂 I kind of feel like I’m stuck in that season of waiting, too…there’s so much hope out there, but I don’t see where He’s going with any of it. Just trying to give thanks that HE knows…and maybe that’s the point, that I just learn to rest and trust His plan. I’m cheering for you always, friend. You are a blessing…hugs today! 🙂
The Spirit speaks to you in such incredible ways, and you listen and share His teaching through wildly wonderful, beautiful words. Thank you for being faithful to His leading.
I do have to admit I might have asked God if He wouldn’t mind speaking to me at a more decent hour in the morning next time 😉 I haven’t gotten an answer on that one…
As one who is often awakened at 3am… I assure you, if you ask Him to stop, He will – but you will (eventually) miss it and willingly crawl out of bed at any hour to spend that time with Him! 🙂 So thankful you listened and got up… for we all need the encouragement to just keep going. Maybe you don’t ‘got’… but He always does! And oh how we often forget!
Oh how you speak to me today! I linked to this post today. I feel the Lord is asking me to share a part of my story that I don’t want to share. I think no one will care or want to read my story. You are SUCH. AN. ENCOURAGEMENT!! Thank you.
They will care – I care 🙂 Even if it doesn’t look like it makes an impact in the ways we measure success (comments, shares, etc) – it will. Your bravery & faithfulness to follow God’s leading will make a difference.
XO. Yes. Keep going!!
With you cheering me on? How could I do anything else? 🙂