I flipped and flopped, tossed and turned. It was 4 a.m. and I was wide awake with a restless heart. My husband slept peacefully beside me and my daughter was – for once – not the reason for my early morning sleeplessness. I snuggled into my pillow and whispered “Okay God…you want me awake?”
When God wants you awake to spend time with Him, even at 4 a.m., there’s no way to say no.
I rolled over, grabbed a sweater and stumbled out to the living room, moonlight reflecting on snow creating a soft path to my desk. The previous few days had been hard. A discouraging phone call, doubt over the impact of my words, the pull of platform verses community, exhaustion in the midst of being an encouragement for others – because that’s not the easy path to stay on, and the enemy likes to discredit my work and the desires of my heart by filling my head with selfish needs.
In the quiet of those early morning margin hours my heart cried out to God.
Is it worth it?
But what about….
Let it go.
Will the opportunity be there if I don’t chase it right now?
And when I asked God for affirmation and encouragement that these words and this space and my story matter? He showed up and showed off. Comments on blog posts, Instagram, Voxer messages from friends pointing me to read or listen to something they felt that I needed to hear.
If you’re doubting today if choosing the harder road of cheering on others while you’re in a place of waiting is worth it? Let me promise you that it is. Let me stand up and drown out the voice of the enemy because what you are doing as you lift up someone else with your words? I promise that you are changing lives and hearts. When you bravely reach out and tell someone how much they mean to you, when you stand beside them, walk with them, listen deeply over coffee and pour into their lives? You are braver and more wildly wonderful than you will ever know.
God wants us to love others. The enemy wants us to think it’s all about “me.”
We will be tricked into feeling left out, left behind, over looked, ignored, passed up. We will be exhausted and worn out because the very acts of intentional encouragement and choosing grace are hard, hard work. It’s much easier to stay absorbed in our own lives and make choices that benefit ME. That choice? It takes very little work.
Your words matter.
Your story makes a difference.
Keep going, friend. As many cups of coffee as it takes.