They didn’t mean anything negative when they said it. When the bought the cards and said the words, it wasn’t because they were being hurtful. Some of them didn’t even know to say anything differently. But I was surprised at the sadness I felt.
It’s a sensitive topic, and one I rarely write about. In fact, there is a blog post that has been living in my draft folder since 2010 that is so tied to my heart I physically can”t click “publish.” This may have been my first Mother’s Day to celebrate with my sweet daughter in my arms, but it wasn’t the first one I celebrated. Maybe I’m the only one who thinks about it this way, but the second God chose me to carry a child, I became a mother. And the sweet little one that went to Heaven much too soon in November 2010? Oh I celebrated being that one’s mommy. Mother’s Day 2011 was bitter sweet – I was pregnant with our daughter but still missing the one we never got to meet.
Oh here come the tears.
We may never have had the opportunity to hold our first baby, but for as long as that precious child was alive in me, I was mommy.
So to comment on how great it must feel to celebrate my first Mother’s Day? Well. This first isn’t really a first. And you have no idea how sweet it is to wake up and give our girl a big snuggle, basking in her smiles and giggles. God has truly blessed me. And to our dear first little? One day, little one, you’ll get an eternity of snuggles with mommy. We haven’t forgotten you.