Have you ever taken time to grieve the loss of a dream? Over the last year or so I’ve realized that one of the things that draws me back to a place of envy is the still hurting places of past rejection. Grief is a hard thing. We’re encouraged to do it at the loss of a person, a loved one, a pet, our health – but when it comes to our dreams?
You might as well suck it up, buttercup.
It can feel like wasted time to properly grieve after rejection, the end of a dream, or yet another hard “no.” But it’s not. It’s not a waste of time – and in many ways it might be the most important time you take for yourself.
Rejection hurts. It hurts in places that no one can see, in ways that a lot of people will never understand. And when we don’t take the time to allow God to heal and redeem those places, they stay open and raw.
Sure, you might be able to get up and go to work and continue on with life like nothing happened. For awhile. But the next time something hard happens, you fall another step behind in your dream, or you see someone else doing the thing you so desperately want to be doing? All those exposed nerve endings are hit – and the feelings that come out are hurt and envy and anger.
It’s ok to let the hard things hurt. It’s ok to ask God to heal a broken heart. It’s ok to find a few safe people to process the mess with – that’s what friends are for.
Instead of shaking it off, brushing it off, walking it off, sit with it. Know that it’s ok to be disappointed at the loss of something you really wanted and really hoped for. You can be mad and sad and have questions. You can cry or get quiet or need someone to talk with about all the details. You can’t pretend it didn’t happen or that it didn’t bother you.
The only way through the hard seasons is through. There are no shortcuts through grief. Take the time that is right for you before you dive headfirst into something new. Heal the whole way, allowing God to do a refining, redeeming, growing work in you.
And then, when you’re ready to jump back in, you can do so with joy – and not jealousy.
- Is there a recent rejection you need to grieve?
- What does grief look like for you?
- Where does God want to grow you through your grief?
Daphne Tarango says
Great reminder, Crystal.
Feelings are alive, and you can’t bury things that are alive. (Can’t remember who said that.)
Thanks for sharing.
“Rejection hurts. It hurts in places that no one can see, in ways that a lot of people will never understand.” <—- I believe this is one of the truest statements I've read in a while. I think that is one of the things that makes the rejection hurt even more is that other don't understand. Therefore, they don't allow us to grieve. You end up having no one's shoulder to cry on.