Making friends as an adult is like trying to fit multiple puzzle pieces together – will your friends like you? Will their kids like your kids? Will your husbands get along? Sometimes searching for friends feels more like dating, and it can be exhausting as we try to fit it in around all the other pieces of our lives.
It can be discouraging because it takes time to make those friends, and it takes a lot of effort. If you’re in this season where you’re struggling to make friends, know that Aubrey and I get it. We’ve been there – in my case, I am there. It can definitely be easier to keep your focus on your family than to put yourself out there to find new friends.
But we need other women to do life with. Our husbands and our families can’t be everything to us – and we shouldn’t be everything to them, either! Aubrey has an amazing story and, with all of the moves their family has experiences, brings plenty of new-friendship-finding to the table. I know you’ll be blessed by her and her testimony today – the Lord has provided friendship and community for Aubrey in this new season of her life, and we know He’ll do the same for you.
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Tips & Tools:
- Go where your passions are – join a running group, find a Zumba class, join a craft group and find a place where you can connect with women who already share one of your interests
- Connect at church – take time to go deeper instead of wider at church by joining a small group ministry or Sunday school class to get to know new people
- Pray for confidence & boldness – ask God to give you wisdom about where to find friends and the courage to make the first move!
- Small is ok! Ask God to put one or two people into your life – real life friendship isn’t about a huge following, but about intentional relationship
- Stay in the Word – Aubrey is encouraged by Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”
What verse encourages you today?
I so appreciated and needed to hear this encouraging conversation! My husband, two little ones and I moved a year ago last October, and while we are living closer to family, our dear friends are now 5 hours away. Both introverts ourselves, having those close friends who knew us and really ‘got us’ was something of high value. Thanks for the practical tips, as well as the message that God does call us into community, this encouraged me that as long as I continue to put in the effort, He will provide that!
Christin, I have loved the posts in this series! Thank you!! I especially love this conversation with Aubrey, I had the privilege of working with her leading an (in)Courager group in one of the sessions.
I moved 7 years ago to a totally new place and making friends was really hard because I had no kids in school, no connections. Your advice about going deep instead of wide at church is so true. We attended our church’s annual retreat, met a few people, started a small prayer group that meets monthly and those are our friends/family…those are the people that we reach out to and help each other.
Great series!