You’ve heard the saying, haven’t you? The one that says “perception is reality.” I always thought that was a phrase people used when they wanted someone else to change, or when they wanted an excuse not to take responsibility for their feelings. It was always used in a way that pushed the blame on to someone else and I struggled to see how reality couldn’t simply be enough.
It’s not enough.
Not online, anyway. Think about the way we assume we know the whole story when a group we know only through our online interactions gets together in real life. Maybe it’s at a conference or a retreat or {insert reason here}. We know that we aren’t there, and they are. We see their photos and hashtags and we start to fill in the blanks. We assume the “why” and the “how” and what they must be doing/feeling/saying based on small pieces of truth and reality and the fact is? What we perceive is often not entirely true. But we start to compare ourselves to it anyway.
If I’m going to pour everything I have into creating authentic community, living unfiltered online, and standing behind my desire to make you always feel like you have a space here, I need to do something differently. I don’t know if it’s ever going to be possible to have reality match perception online, but I want to try. I want to think intentionally before I slap together a hashtag that might make a situation look like more than it is. I want to take time to tell the stories behind the photos so you can hear how God was at work. And if I don’t and you have questions, I want to be the kind of person you can ask, knowing I’ll answer.
I love engaging online and I want to share what I’m doing because those are sweet memories for me, whether they’re photos with family or friends or little reminders of what I’m loving & learning in this season. But I never want anyone to perceive my reality falsely, or fill in blanks that make me more than I am. My heart is always to engage, inspire, equip and encourage – and if what I’m posting doesn’t do that, I pray I’ll think twice before sharing.
This right here is the key: “I want to take time to tell the stories behind the photos so you can hear how God was at work.”
It is hard when you see pictures and tweets and hashtags from a couple of people you admire or a group that you wish you were part of or an event you would like to have been at…and you wish you were there or had the same experience or were included. I think back to a picture I posted earlier this year when I was blessed to meet someone well-known in Christian circles…but the real story behind the picture was the work God had done in me so that I could be present at that moment, as well as the sweet little gift He was giving me during a hard season.
I honestly don’t think any of us would begrudge another’s experiences if we took the time to explain God’s presence and purpose in those circumstances. At least I hope we wouldn’t. Thank you for your sweet heart, Crystal and for your encouragement to all of us to consider telling the rest of the story when we post or tweet or update!