When I first started work for (in)courage, I struggled a lot with loneliness. Suddenly I was no longer just part of the community. I wasn’t even necessarily part of the community between the contributors. I was in this leadership role (that I loved) but feeling as though the change in my title had changed my relationship to the women I’d gotten to know and love over the last several years.
I wasn’t just one of the girls. I had a responsibility. I was casting vision. I was making changes and enforcing rules and requiring commitments. While my heart trusted God completely that He had me in the right place, it didn’t stop the enemy from sneaking in and cultivating doubt and insecurity. Would any of these women want to get to know me as a friend, or would they just see me as an employee? I felt like the world’s loneliest community builder … until I shared my heart with someone who was also in leadership and she affirmed my feelings and encouraged me.
Leadership is lonely.
Not everyone will understand your vision. Not everyone is meant to be part of your team. And sometimes God calls us into new areas so we can lead out and build community for others out of our experience – and through it He brings us a new support system.
Kris and I chat a little bit about this into today’s video, so grab a cup of coffee and join us. Because even if you don’t feel like you’re a leader, you are. If you’re a Christian you lead others to Christ. If you’re a mom you lead your children. If you are a writer, dreamer, creator you are leading out on some vision God has given you. And none of us are immune to loneliness. {email subscribers click here to watch}
Some takeaways:
- Find your people – the core few who have walked ahead of you and who can walk beside you in the thick of it
- Stay in the Word – dig deep into Scripture and be encouraged.
- Press into God – cling to Jesus.

Again, so timely! My Birthday was on October 22 and I decided to share on my Facebook page that day about my excitement for my 35th year ahead – that my husband and I are finally working hard to move forward on a vision that God gave us a few years ago.
From that, we received some not so supportive feedback from family. I had also shared with our lifegroup a few days earlier about the vision my husband and I will be working together on. And I must say, it did feel a bit lonely — just that no one really ‘got it’.
I’ve been processing and working through these reactions ever since. So this was so encouraging to hear that I am not the only one experiencing the fact that not everyone will ‘get it’! Thank you Crystal and Kris!
Love both you so much…this is such a powerful chat, Crystal. Thank you.
So glad you enjoyed it, Mary! I’ve had such fun recording these for this series (though the introvert in me is happy I recorded them last month so I can enjoy them now!)