There are days when working at home by myself means I’m spending an awful lot of time with…me. And while I’m naturally in introverted person who prefers to write words rather than speak them, I can get a little too internally focused, a little too involved in myself, and a lot insecure.
I’m learning that being lost in my own thoughts without intentionally taking to stand up, walk around, refocus and center back on God gives the enemy a lot of room to sneak into my head. Working online all day, seeing the tweets and Pins and Facebook updates and brilliantly written blog posts can start to make a girl doubt her gifts and the value of her contributions.
And when I keep all those thoughts inside and pack them along on a trip to a blogging conference, the enemy goes along for the ride and I start to forget that God has placed each of us in our season, in this moment in time, with these gifts for a reason. And that my calling to encourage and write and mother and be a good wife and build community and use these talents isn’t supposed to be compared to anyone else’s calling.
It’s supposed to be combined.
Working together to further the kingdom. Working side-by-side and loving each other through the thick of it and the success and the failure and living in the victory God has already claimed.
But I forget. And when I forget long and hard enough, the internet come around again to help. You see, I feel passionately that true community can be built online. I know and have seen that women can change the world through tweets and encouraging messages and authentic living and imperfect writing. I have been introduced to some of my very best friends because of the internet – and in those moments where my heart needs someone who gets it?
I send a quick SOS Voxer to a friend states away. A lie detector friend. The one I can dump all the doubts and insecurities to and she can read through the lines and speak truth and help me fight lies. These are the friends who hear my words but hear beyond them to know my heart and my hurts and can remind me who God created me to be. They spot the lies and reveal what they are so they no longer have a hold over me.
We all need lie detector friends. Women who are rooted in Scripture and who can receive an urgent message with grace and the courage to speak truth when it doesn’t always feel good. We need women who can walk in their calling and their passions and share their struggles and hurts, so we can do the same alongside them and do more and do better for the kingdom.
Let’s do better.
I love being your lie detector friend. Thanks for being mine. (((you))) <– that's a hug =)
Yes. I had some heart to heart with a couple of my lie detector friends today!
I so appreciate this because I’ve been reduced to a lot of ‘me’ after closing my gift shop-having people come in my driveway and chat. I’ve noticed the increase of the mind-battles and it gets a bit discouraging some days. But I know that EVERY thought can be taken captive and this is training ground, or…reduction time. He must increase. I must decrease. So I am thankful for this refining time, and the battle-training as I can encourage others (the youth are STRUGGLING seriously with this with the onslaught of Snap-chat, selfies, and ‘best-friend’ ratings. So I am having many opportunities to teach them to recognize the battle, to fight for their identity in Christ.
I so look forward to Heaven and riddance to this body of flesh. …
Praying for you as you pour truth into others about who and Whose they are! It’s a fight worth fighting!
I am practically cheering! You have done it again Crystal, spoken the truth so beautifully! I am so glad we get to combine our efforts to further the kingdom, instead of compare and compete with each other. Blessings to you, a sister I have never met. π
Sending hugs your way Tobi, for cheering with me! Grateful for your words π
Combined, not compared. What?!? Mind. Blown. Thank you! You just spoke into some little tiny dreams daring to sprout inside me but I’m too afraid to water because it involves other people. I’m not just an introvert, but I’m still dusting off the ashes from being burned by other people. I feel like people are ganging up on me: you, Annie F. Downs & the Bloom ladies, the Holy Spirit. Alright already, I get it π
shhh…that whole ganging up on people thing is supposed to be a secret π lol…love you, Angela – grateful God can use the words He gives me to spur you on!
This is really good, Crystal, and I can totally relate. Sometimes it’s hard to find lie detector friends. Especially if you’re the strong one in your circle. (Unfortunately, that would be me!)
It’s me, too π But I’m learning to lean in when God sends a friend my way who speaks scripture into my life. I trust this small circle with all my un-fine moments, and it’s brought incredible freedom!
Were you hearing my thoughts? Because this is exactly how I feel the majority of the time!!
Nope π But glad I could encourage you {{hug}}
YES!! Sent out two voxes yesterday morning! Thank You Lord for lie detector friends/mentors! π
I need more voxes from you in my life, girl π Still smile every time I think about our chat last month! You brighten my day.
Crystal,
Love it – Lie Detector Friends!! I also love your choice of words that our gifts, talents and calling are not to be compared with others (I am so guilty of this), but instead they are to be combined. I can feel the burden of pressure being released as I read this. Great post!
Blessings,
Bev
Praise God for that, Bev!
Amen, Crystal! Amen! Thank you for putting my life into words. I struggle just like this! And I love your suggestion of lie-detector friends to help us battle the comparison trap and emotional slumps.
I love working from home, writing, and doing this online thing, but there are it’s challenges. I often spiral into lies, triggered by a tweet or post or promo of something, doubting my purpose and feeling more overwhelmed then before.
I’ve been battling it this season by walking the dog daily and listening to a sermon or podcast, stepping out the door to meet an in-real-life friend coffee at least once a week, going to Bible study at church, and being intentional about filling my soul with worship music when I’m doing a “brainless” task. It’s all helping, but requires so much discipline. There’s always this tension on my time — the good things I need to do for my soul to stay stable competes with my productivity, but if I don’t stay stable my productivity . . . and more importantly, my joy in the process . . . will wane.
Glad we’re in this together. I’ll be praying for you today!
Thank you for saying this out loud. I appreciate your boldness here!!! Keep going!!!!
Thank you so much for that sweet encouragement, Sarah!
So much discipline – and I love all the ideas you just shared, especially worship music while I do mindless tasks – so good. And that joy waning part? Yep. That’s what started this whole thing for me π Grateful for you and how you mentor and teach me, even in blog comments π