I sit at my computer with tabs open to blog posts, social media sites, projects launching, conferences scheduled and book releasing and I’m torn. One side of me loves to see what God is doing in the lives of my friends and the women I know online. The other side of me can’t help but wonder why I struggle with feeling excluded in areas where God hasn’t yet intended for me to be included.
We all want to be invited.
And sometimes that need to be included in everything makes me dissatisfied with everything. I can’t enjoy where God has me, the tasks He’s given me, the doors He’s opened, the opportunities and friendships when my heart is always craving something else.
And that need to be included in everything makes me want to say “yes” to everything before seeking God’s will. Maybe one day God will want me to write that book, speak on that stage, meet that woman, lead that project – but if I’m not ready for it yet, no matter how much my heart wants it, it needs to be a “no.”
We all want to feel special.
From the outside it can look like the internet is full of tiny little cliques of “cool kids” who are getting together without you, planning fabulous retreats and launching amazing initiatives while I sit in my office at home surrounded by piles of laundry, dishes in the kitchen sink, enough snow clothes from my toddler to keep a polar bear warm, and a blank “to do” list because I’m not sure I know today what it is that God even wants me to do.
And when I take my worth and my expectation of success and measure it against what it looks like the rest of the world is doing, I will always feel like a less-than failure. But when I take my worth and my expectation of success and choose to believe that were they come from isn’t found on a computer screen but in Jesus Christ who called me and chose me and has given me an assignment to do for His glory – not my own – then I will feel included.
“And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth,the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:13-14
Because God doesn’t call us to do what everyone else is doing. He calls us to be included with Him to love others, to share His word, to laugh with those who laugh and weep with those who weep – not judge them for laughing or scorn them for weeping. God has chosen you.
You are invited.
You are included.
You are worthy and loved and needed and what you do is important, whether it looks like laundry or board meetings.
We are called to love. Let’s love well this week, even – maybe especially – when our hearts crave to be included.
This is exactly how I’ve been feeling lately. Thanks for the wonderful reminder. You write beautifully!
This is so perfect for me today. Thank you. I have been feeling way lately and your words are so encouraging.
Ahh, yes. I love this post. Thank you for honesty. I struggle with this in my real life so much. I have great friends, do fun things with them, but then when I hear that I’m not included in something, my automatic default is going to the worst possible. As in, nobody likes me, everybody hates me….
Every time. It’s immature, and selfish to think I can be included in everything, and the truth is I don’t even want to be! I like to be home, I like to chill. SO, thank for this post and for your heart.
Love you friend,
Joy
love this. #fistbump
“He calls us to be included with Him to love others, to share His word, to laugh with those who laugh and weep with those who weep…”
This line touched me deeply and puts everything into perspective, in more ways than just wanting to be part of the cyber-world, but in everything we do. Thank you for who you are. I enjoy your posts (and your heart) immensely – thank you.
Such a good message, Crystal. One I need to be reminded of. Thank you.
Thanks Beth!
Oh man. Such a good word Crystal! Everyone longs to be included – I struggle with this too. I was just thinking of this this morning – thinking of this struggle.
The enemy likes to get sneaky with me and follow up something beautiful – even the Propel launch yesterday – with these “why wasn’t I included” thoughts. You know I adore the internet, but it’s making me more aware than ever that I have to be super protective of my thoughts and my heart because it’s SO easy to go from excitement to comparison in a blink. Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone 🙂
I told you I’d do better this year at commenting- and I intend to do that. Even when it means reading your post in my inbox on my phone, closing that off and coming to the computer so I can do so!
Because THIS POST- Crystal, have you been hearing exactly what I’ve been thinking?! Those same thoughts of “Happy for them, great for them…but wish it were me, too”? The thoughts of thinking maybe you just haven’t worked hard enough, or maybe you just don’t have the talent or the most cleaver things to say?
THIS PARAGRAPH!! -“From the outside it can look like the internet is full of tiny little cliques of “cool kids” who are getting together without you, planning fabulous retreats and launching amazing initiatives while I sit in my office at home surrounded by piles of laundry, dishes in the kitchen sink … and a blank “to do” list because I’m not sure I know today what it is that God even wants me to do.”
Yes yes yes! So many times feeling like you’re on the outside, and no way those popular, busy, got-it-all-together dream-live-ers will notice you. Take time for you. It makes me fear that kind of one-sided community, fearing I’m not enough- and maybe that’s why I stopped commenting over the years on blogs? Fear that I don’t fit in to their put-together worlds….fear
that I’m not good enough and don’t have as much to offer?
But God’s been teaching me. I’m learning that even if I feel like I’m sitting on the bench and not out playing in the game, God has a purpose and a reason in that, too. It’s not a mistake. I’m not overlooked. I’m there to cheer the others on, to encourage those beside me.
And Crystal? I see you doing exactly that, in a million different ways, and I am so, so, so blessed by it.
So maybe we both want that book, or that awesome retreat, or that incredible speaking event. But maybe “{Our} greatest contribution to the Kingdom of God may not be something {we} do, but someone {we} raise.” -Andy Stanley
So keep raising others, keep raising God, keep on doing what you do and be encouraged. God is touching others through you!!
Hugs!
That Andy Stanley quote is pure genius – and I’m SO glad you popped over to your computer to share with me today 🙂 It’s nice to know we’re not in this alone – and your words did that for me today.
Oh this is so good friend. i too struggle with this… Feeling like the world is happening all around me and that I’m not a part of it… From me to you friend know this… I hear your heart and you are so loved… So, so loved!!! Praying you “ENCOUNTER” Him on your to-do list today. {Schmoosie Hugs}
Ah girl – I see all that you do to encourage others and the way you pour into Allume and how you’re following God to serve others and it’s beautiful. You shine, friend.