This week’s assignment: “Sometimes we feel alone not because we need to be with others but because God wants to be with us. Our lives are busy–especially when we’re pursuing a dream–and God may want to pull us aside for a bit” {You’re Made for a God-sized Dream, Chapter Six}. The most important part of any God-sized dream is the Giver of it. Set aside a particular time this week to be with Him–to pray, journal, take a walk or simply sit quietly and listen. Write a post sharing what your heart hears or receives then link it up next week.
I’ve been having a hard time with these dreams lately. If I’m honest? I’m burnt out. Not in the “I can’t possibly do one more thing” way, because so much of what I’m doing is joyful work, but in the “I’m tired of the waiting, overwhelmed by the answered prayers, and feeling like my wheels are spinning, as I keep pushing forward to seek that elusive open door” way. 
That’s the problem, isn’t it? The pushing forward. It’s making me feel alone. It’s making me look around at what everyone else is doing and wondering “why not me?” Oh yes…I have those thoughts. I wonder if I should be writing a book, recording a podcast, trying my hand at a vlog, wondering why my blog isn’t on “that” list or why I haven’t been asked to be “her” VA. (ok that last one is probably because nearly no one knows I even do the VA thing because I’m just starting out).
Then I wonder if my God Sized Dream really makes sense. I’m … quite frankly…intimidated by the incredible women in the God Sized Dream Team. Should my dream look more like hers? If I changed it up a little, would I be invited to do that? What if my God Sized Dream is selfish and I should really be trying to do something that benefits others? If I was more like her, wrote more like that, had my blog on WordPress, would I be able to make the doors open? I look at what’s working for everyone else and trying to fit everything God has put in my heart into one of those little boxes.
I’ve taken my God Sized Dream and written all over it with my own agenda. I’ve been so caught up in looking for opportunities and blessings that I’ve started to expect quick answers from God that meet my timeline. Oh that pains me to write, but it’s true. God, forgive me.
But I have sweet friends who call me out gently, as sisters-in-Christ, and remind me that all my best intentioned plans mean nothing if I’m not first seeking God. I am blessed by a church with pastors who speak Truth into my life every week. I know what I need to do. So today…I’ll give this dream back to the One who gave it. And tomorrow, I’ll have to do it again. And the day after that, I’ll need another reminder to stop trying to control it and trust God’s plan for my life…not anyone else’s.
I‘m linking up with Holley Gerth today – will you join me in reading the other God Size Dream team posts?
Amen! Love that verse 🙂
“help me look up, rather than to the left or right”..yes..oh amen…I’m going to be praying that daily! what beautiful encouragement 🙂
sending hugs right back! (gosh I love this community of dreamers!)
Even today I needed that reminder again, that His work goes on even when I can’t see it!
thank you for your kind words, Carey 🙂
lol oh goodness, it took me AGES to figure out that people were “virtual assistants” and not working in “veterans affairs”….
yes. a Sabbath. can it happen at a spa with a pedicure and a lot of chocolate?
I suppose that’s the big thing isn’t it? It’s only and all about Him 🙂
thank you for that encouragement Delonna!
Isn’t it like God to have me share the things that make me feel most alone & then bring sweet friends into my life to tell me how NOT alone I really am? (hug)
I feel the same way at times. The enemy wants to make our dreams feel insignificant so that we abandon them. Keep pushing on sister and I will too!
Crystal, thank you, sister. Your words and honesty bless me so much. You
Can I just say – THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for being so honest here. I was struggling too with letting God take the wheel with this God Size Dream. But I am learning daily that the complete surrender is an amazing ride. I get to see God move on my behalf. Keep letting go each day -you will be amazed with how God opens doors and holds your hand as you walk through it.
It is possible to burn out on too much of a good, like when your throat burns from eating sweets. Maybe you need to just catch your breath and let your soul catch up with your body. I heard that a few days ago about native guides on an expedition. They would only go for 6 days and then rested – you may be familiar with that concept. Soak in all the blessings, be refreshed and then proceed. This is an amazing journey, buy it’s going to be a long one. Pace yourself. 🙂
Ohhhhhh how I relate! Thanks for sharing your reality that allows us to check ourselves. Love this: I look at what’s working for everyone else and trying to fit everything God has put in my heart into one of those little boxes.
I needed that! With Joy, Carey
Such a good reminder, one that I needed…to seek Him first and rely on His timing. I tend to expect quick answers, too. Hugs and prayers, friend. You are an encouragement and a blessing to me…God is using you, even on the days when you might not feel like it.
I appreciate your honesty…and girl, I didn’t even know what you meant by VA initially…I get it now, just took me a second! 😉 I do the same things though…why do we spend so much time “wishing” we could be like, or have xyz, or get this or that…instead of being grateful for who and where we are?! I am so guilty of this!! But God is patient isn’t He? He loves us through all of this as we figure it out!! Sending hugs your way!! 🙂
I really appreciated your vulnerability in this post, sister God-sized dreamer. How easy to look around and get intimidated by the big girls. It’s so easy to find someone who seems to “do it better.” But really, we’re our own worst critics, aren’t we? I just had to ask the Lord to uproot me from this comparison thing – for the umpteenth time. Agh! I’m just so glad He’s patient with me. Lord, help me look up, rather than to the left or right. I think that’s going to be my life-long prayer. Sweet blessings to you, wise writer friend. Keep up the good work. You’re making a difference!
Well said, Celeste. And great verse!
I think we share the same brain…as I’m sure many bloggers and writer’s do. Satan loves to his us with doubt, “Who wants to read what you write?” But I cling to Philippians 1:6, “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the end of Jesus Christ.”
I know God called me to write without a doubt. He took sciency-math nerd pharmacist and took me through a seven-year journey to turn me into a disciple for Him. Do I feel like my words a usually never read? Always. But then someone leaves one comment, or one facebook message, or one email. And I’m reminded again why we do this. For Him.