A word that God has spoken into my heart frequently over the last several weeks. When all I want to do is run. When the frustration, anger, sadness, fear of change, and confusion set in and my mind says “escape” I pray and God says “stay.”
And I’m upset about it. I want to give up. Give in to the temptation to find an easy way out and claim that it wasn’t my fault. I tried. I did my best. But “they”….
It’s never “they,” though, is it? When you look at the heart of the matter, down deep past the hurts, feeling left out, feeling like your community is crumbling right when you finally figured out that you might belong somewhere – the only person who can make me is stay or flee is me.
But there are these little eyes on me now. The ones that watch like a hawk and twinkle mischeviously at me. The brown eyes might be mine but that twinkle is her daddy’s. And she watches, repeats, mimicks. So I stay. I show her that her mama can overcome and lean on God just a little more that day and be ok when things feel like they’ve gone silent.
So I’m here. Doing the thing. Obeying.
Amen 🙂
Thank you Jamie!
Yes…know it today, know it tomorrow, and know it the tomorrow after that!
Thanks Melanie 🙂
Praying for you to find community, for energy to keep pushing forward. Thank you for sharing Leslie.
You are a wonderful friend – I’m so glad I got to know you at Allume! You speak encouragement so easily.
Me too 🙂
Jolene, that blesses me, thank you. The running away is so easy sometimes, isn’t it?
Yes! Oh these were beautiful words, thank you!
Oh me too, Mary!
Thank you for sharing this testimony Nancy! And a great reminder to me that the one watching doesn’t stop watching, regardless if she’s 1 or 16 or 30. This is a lifestyle now!
Oh I miss you sweet friend! Praying for you this morning 🙂
“actions speak louder than words”…especially when your 1 year old could care less about the words you use 🙂 (“no” in our house causes giggles….it’s a good time!)
Thank you Paula 🙂
Thank you for your encouraging words, Kariss!
He is so faithful! I’m so glad you are choosing to be obedient when everything screams to run. I’ve been there. It takes more strength to stay than go. Keep being faithful and trusting the Lord, my friend!
Staying centered. Staying focused. Staying in Truth! Such a gift for you and for that little one, too!
She is just the cutest thing. It is a whole other thing when those eyes are watching our every move, right? We tend to dig a bit deeper because the lesson is not so much what we say, but what we do.
This felt like an echo of my own heart. We’re in this together sister. Thanks for staying. Thanks for holding fast when you want to let go. Prayers for you sweet friend, when the staying is easy and when it isn’t…prayers.
Totally understand what you are saying. So many times I want to obey my emotions and react to my circumstances and to those that have hurt me. But I have a 16 year old watching. He’s seen the wrong responses and wrong actions of others. It is up to me to show him the right response and right reaction. It’s a huge responsibility, but it has kept me obedient to God at the same time. And I’ve grown, too, because I’ve had to stay and face the tough stuff.
Obeying…so hard sometimes. This speaks to me, Crystal. thank you. So glad we got to connect for just a short time the last night of Allume.
Our children are a gift from The Lord, aren’t they? We run to our Daddy, emptied, pressed out and poured out, so He can fill us. This season in life passes so quickly. Cherish every second, and soak up as much of God as you can!
Running away – how easy that would be sometimes! It’s is encouraging to me that you are obeying and staying!
I understand that feeling of wanting to flee, to run and hide. I am so thankful that during those times, God calls me to stay, just where He has me.
Praying for you tonight. Sorry that you are going through these struggles but know that God is with you in the hard, in the command to stay, or the freedom to go. In wherever He leads, He gives you room to lean in hard. Love you, friend. You’re a good mama and a good example of a woman who seeks to be obedient.
I relate to this so much. No community and needing it. And every day I need to keep on keeping on for the sake of my family.
Leaning on God with you. Thank you for your words here!
Oh how your words speak to me tonight. I was feeling this same thing earlier this week. I just know and believe that He has me exactly where I need to be today. And then know it again tomorrow. Doing what He is asking of me. Thank you for sharing this today. Blessings.
ooo – how I relate to your post! Thanks for sharing.
Stay it is right where He wants you!