2013 is starting out to be the year of book reviews, isn’t it? I hope y’all don’t mind. I just can’t say “no” when a great book comes along. And this is one I feel very strongly about. Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe, by Sarah Mae & Sally Clarkson.
This book has changed my life. It has transformed my view of motherhood and has given me the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. It is the story of motherhood from two points of view – hip deep in the chaos (Sarah Mae) and survived and thrived (Sally Clarkson). There are honest, hard questions and conversations – the ones you wish someone would have told you about instead of talking about how cute all the clothes would be. There are hard answers – the ones you wish you could ignore, the ones that make you dig deep into your heart and seek God. There is hope, Scripture, encouragement, love, and grace. And the message, at the end of the day? I’m the mother God chose for my daughter. He doesn’t make mistakes and I need to trust Him.
If I’m honest? Most days, I feel like a major failure when it comes to motherhood. I believe the lies, the ones that tell me I’m not good enough, that I’m making all the wrong choices, I’m failing as a wife, a mother, a friend. And on top of it all?
Friend. I’m tired. Bone weary, drained of inspiration, creativity, energy and motivation. Finding a hobby? A Bible study? Girls to go out with who aren’t also exhausted mamas? Uh huh. Sure. Throwing on comfy clothes and climbing into bed is my idea of bliss. But that joy is squashed by constant anxiety over whether or not my toddler will sleep through the night. Did she eat enough? Is she warm enough? Will her new PJs bother her? What if…what if….what if. It’s a dark and lonely place sometimes, this space where mothering and all my insecurities meet head to head.
I don’t want 2013 to be the same as 2012. This year, I’m choosing to live life, not let life happen while I sit by in a funk, afraid and depressed and overwhelmed. I’m done comparing my family to everyone elses’, thinking our decisions must fit into some neat box and if I just do A, B, and C, Madi will turn out to be a well adjusted, sweet girl who doesn’t throw temper tantrums and my husband and I will live in marital harmony for the rest of our lives. Sarah Mae & Sally reminded me over and over again in this book that God created our family puzzle to be unique, and I know I can trust Him to guide us through this journey.
Some of my favorite quotes (just a few of literally dozens..I highlighted a lot!):
- “My kids don’t need to see a supermama. They need to see a mama who needs a Super God.”
- “…remember, a wise woman is one who copies wise women.”
- “Young moms were never meant to be without the advice and care of multiple women assisting them and advising them in their lives.”
- “If you expect perfection, you are bound to become angry more often…”
- “…I’m choosing to fight the dark; I’m taking steps to stay in the light. I will overcome. I will not be a victim. I will keep my eyes on Jesus and the hope that there is always a new day to start fresh. It is not by my effort, this overcoming; it is by trusting Jesus with all the crevices of my heart—the dark and the light.”
One of my favorite tools in Desperate? A needs assessment to help work through those dark days. Determining what I need – sleep? help? a friend? – and offering hope and encouragement to do what needs to be done and to praise God through it all.
Add in the incredibly helpful journal/discussion questions at the end of each chapter and the QR codes to special videos (yes! in a book! it made me so happy!), Desperate is set up to help mamas go further than just another parenting book. It’s personal. It’s Christ-centered. It’s hopeful and full of grace.
You can learn more about the book and purchase yours here 🙂
And maybe consider doing it with a group of moms in your community, as a Bible study? Sarah Mae & Sally are giving some incredibly generous gifts if you purchase books between January 8th & 12th . If you can’t get a group together in real life, join Sarah Mae & Sally for an online book study at The Better Mom, starting January 29th.
You should also check out the Desperate Facebook page and Sarah Mae’s website during launch week (Jan. 8th – 12th)…there might be giveaways 🙂 Hint. Hint.
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Oh I’m so glad you liked it!
Thank you for writing this! I posted it on my FB instead of writing my own review!
I love that quote – I had it all figured out before I had children, too! Thank you for being so open and honest – it’s in our own weakness that we do find the strength of God – but we have to accept who we are, first -and ask HIM to take over. YOU, your words hit every nail on the head – and every woman – Mom or NOT should read this book!