At bedtime the other night we read Madi a story based around the scripture that tells us that we should be happy for those who are happy and be sad with those who are sad. It’s hard to do, isn’t it? In the story it gave an example of being happy when our friend gets the toys we want, and being sad with them when we get the one they want. For a four year old that is some seriously upside down logic, totally opposite of our “gimme” nature. But as adults? It’s not that different. Our minds know we should celebrate with others, but often our hearts lean toward envy.
There are times that I struggle to be happy for others when they have what I want. What I have feels less-than in comparison and being happy for someone else feels much harder than being jealous. But living a life that looks more like Christ and less like me isn’t supposed to be easy. It’s supposed to feel upside down and against our human nature.
It’s uncomfortable and hard and I never know the right words to say or how to find the balance between being walked over and ignored and lovingly promoting others. Because my heart wants to do that, while my brain gets shouty and wants to know “what’s in it for me?!”
You know, that scripture isn’t telling us to find the right words and do all the right things. It’s showing what it means to be a good friend. The kind of friend who can simply be with their friends, regardless of circumstances. It’s about thinking highly enough of others that you don’t need to promote yourself above them – rather you find ways to lift them up. Because the “what’s in it for me” blessings when I do that far outnumber any of the short term glory I might shine on myself.
“A rising tide lifts all boats”
So I want to practice today. Can I do that? Will you share with me in the comments something you’ve done recently that you’re proud of? It doesn’t have to be a huge accomplishment, but what have you done or experienced lately that has made you happy, so I can be happy with you? Consider this a judgement free bragging zone! Let me give you a virtual high-five, toss some virtual confetti, and give you a big virtual hug. Whether you finally got all the laundry put away or you got a promotion at work. Whether you said “yes” to a big opportunity or said “no” to a bunch of smaller ones. Whether you simply showed up when you didn’t want to or you lost 30 pounds. Whatever it is that YOU are proud of – will you share?
I’d love to celebrate you today!
I just donated 15 items from my work wardrobe because I lost 30 lbs!
That’s incredible!! Awesome job 🙂
Hi! Twitter recommended I should follow you so I decided to check you out 🙂 And you have some good stuff to say! I love the following: “It’s about thinking highly enough of others that you don’t need to promote yourself above them – rather you find ways to lift them up.”
I’ve realized this past year that my huge pet-peeve is all the people I know who want me to “like” something & support them in something that I could care less about, but for them I “like” it because I want to give them value. But it bothers me when they ask me this, after ignoring & not “liking” me for, well, ever 😉 Of course, I seem to learn most from when others do things to me that I don’t appreciate and so I have to work hard to be the opposite in response. But like you said, it isn’t easy as it goes against human nature. Thankfully we have the Spirit of God pulling us past ourselves!
As for me–two things this week:
1.) After being annoyed/despairing about marriage stuff (nothing major, just same ol’ problems coming up), God clearly told me to keep fighting & investing, having multiple women come around to pray for our marriages together. Having the push from God to fight on a spiritual-plain was sorely needed, and since then, already I’ve seen a lot of changes in my attitude and my husband’s. Yeppie!
2.) After careful (cautious/scared of both success and failure) deliberating process for the past months of taking my blog/website to the next level, this week I finally took a jump by making a financial investment. This required a lot of bravery on my part, because it also will require me to be vulnerable in-front of my community with deep fears/passions. So, that I am moving forward is something I am super excited and proud of myself in 🙂
So, did you say what YOU are proud of, with yourself for us to celebrate?
Praise God for both of those! And for Twitter’s awesome recommendation 😉 love how you’re leaning into God and being bold where He calls you. Yay!! (And no, I didn’t share anything – maybe another post for another day!)
This really made me want to cry because of how unbelievably encouraging and vulnerable you’re being right now!
I just lost twins about a month ago and I’m trucking through taking the opportunities God is sending my way with writing, but it’s hard not to feel guilty and it’s hard not to feel scared. I doubt myself in many ways. I doubt frequently if I’ll make an impact with writing since I can’t simply come out and write what I think I should in a land with clear restrictions. And, then sometimes I also look at what I want to write and say and realize it’s just ugliness coming out of my heart. Not grace or sage wisdom. So, I’m thankful/proud of giving glory to God despite those deaths, but so know to be humble that I could even say that in the first place. Does that all make sense in a loosely related way?
Oh Vanessa. My heart breaks for you, friend. I’m so very sorry for the loss of your twins. And what you’ve shared makes perfect sense. Cheering for the brave choices you’re making every day, and praying for all that you have yet to decide. I know your story and your love for God will be a blessing – trusting Him to refine it so it shines beautifully on Him. xoxo
I work with KEEP Collective to help people create one of a kind keepers (bracelets, necklaces, pendants, key fobs) to reflect their stories. The team for my business has more than doubled in the last two weeks!!
I know how hard you have to work to do that! That is incredible – and I love love love KEEP 🙂
You are a gem!
Back at ya, Donna!