When you build community for a living, you start to believe the craziest lies. The enemy finds a little crack in the armor and suddenly the insecurities start to overwhelm me. Because in my head? I do a pretty decent job encouraging others to find community. I cheer them on, call them brave, and stand back in awe as God shines brightly through them. But I’m convinced I don’t belong there with them.
- If I show up as I really am, maybe they won’t want me to do this job anymore.
- If I really let everyone in – and they see how I’ve messed up in community & how afraid of it I am sometimes – they’ll call me a liar.
- I should probably wait until I have a stronger prayer life, a more consistent quiet time, and have my family saying prayers at every meal before I jump in – because those things are important and should be priorities.
- If I join, I’ll feel like an outcast because I’m seen as a leader – not a member. No one will really want to get to know me – or if they do, it will be because of who I work for, not because of who I am.