My Not-To-Do List

“Hey Crystal! Give me just a minute and I’ll have your drink ready for you.”

“Take your time – I’m not in a hurry.”

“Not in a hurry? When does that ever happen?”

I wasn’t surprised to hear the shock in the voice of the Starbuck’s barista. I’ve spent enough time in this space to know that their morning rush is usually just that – rushed. Everyone is trying to get to work on time, bleary eyed and running late. Schedules are jam packed and everyone waits impatiently, crowded around the end of the counter where a seemingly endless stream of drinks pass through to eager hands.

After spending far too many years priding myself on my high level of “busyness,” recovering from a season of burn-out, depression, anxiety, and uncertainty, “not in a hurry” is exactly the kind of weird holy hustle I’m loving. But after speaking with my friend Anne during a recent podcast recording for The Declare Conference, she told me that my online bio doesn’t exactly show this new work hard, rest well lifestyle I claim to have adopted.

In fact, it made her feel a little bad for not being able to keep up. 

So we talked for a bit about what that “to do list” looks like in real life. I shared with her about the boundaries I’ve created around my time to prioritize my family, and I shared how that bio that says what I do doesn’t mean that I do all of those things every day. There are seasons for each of those roles, and in order to keep everything going, there is a lot I have to say “no” to. You’ll have to listen to the podcast episode when it comes out to hear more about all of that {grin}.

But Anne encouraged me to share that “not-to-do-list” in this space, in case you came through and saw that I’m an “author, an editor, a freelance communications consultant, a course creator, a writing challenge host, a speaker, a mom and wife and a graphic design guru” – and then immediately felt like you don’t do enough in comparison.

At the end of the day, I am a child of God who tries to spend a few moments in the morning giving my agenda to God and using the gifts He’s given me to serve my family. In various seasons I do those other things. But never all at the same time, and never without turning down good opportunities to leave space for the great things I’ve been assigned to do. Here are just a few things that don’t happen when I’m deep in freelance work, writing, or hosting a challenge:

Cooking – my husband is an excellent cook & 3 of our dinners each week are from Home Chef

Cleaning – the dust bunnies rule the house

Extra Writing – I don’t take on additional writing responsibilities or deadlines when I’m working on my manuscript, and when I’m doing Write 31 Days, that is the only place I’m posting

Extra Freelance Work – I wish I could say “yes” to helping everyone who asks, but if your project lands during one of my busy seasons, I won’t be able to do it. Because I love sleep.

Voxer – I’m terrible at checking it and it stresses me out. So I ignore it. A lot. I’ve also turned off ALL the notifications for ALL the apps on my phone. #freedom

Side Hustle – For a while I thought that I needed to do a little bit of everything – including designing shirts, coffee mugs, hosting giveaways, blogging multiple times a week,  guest posting or contributing to other sites, consistently reviewing books & products, a weekly newsletter, adopting all the new social media trends, running health & fitness challenge groups, and doing daily/weekly live videos. Those are all good things – but they were exhausting. So I’ve stopped doing most of them. I still try to blog once a week, I attempt that newsletter, and I’ve maintained a low-key commitment to just a few special contributor sites/magazines, but without the pressure that they “must” happen. Everything else has had to go.

Today on my not-to-do-list is make breakfast, clean the house, do dishes, take Madi to swim lessons (hubs is doing that), meetings, and grocery shopping. That space will allow me to write this blog post, complete the freelance work I’ve been contracted to do, and meet two writing deadlines. I’m not in a hurry for my coffee this morning because I’ve built space into my day to get done what God is asking me to do, and enjoy it.

It’s so much easier to share our “to do” lists on social media, to show our friends and followers that we are doing work that is worthy of their likes – but maybe we can do something else today. What if you grabbed a post-it or a piece of paper and wrote down your “not to do list” to share with your community? I’d love to see yours! Tag me @crystalstine on Instagram or Twitter if you share yours!