If you follow me on Instagram I shared a little announcement a few days ago in my Instagram story. And I wanted to unpack it a little bit here as well because this community is important to me. You’ve stood beside me when I’ve been at my messiest, you’ve continued to read when I barely wrote anything, and you’ve prayed for me when I didn’t know how to pray for myself.
God has called me out of my work at (in)courage. It is still a ministry that I love, and DaySpring will forever hold a dear place in my heart (and in my house – our decorating style is basically “ALL THE DAYSPRING”), but after next Friday I will no longer be working or writing in that space. God and I have wrestled a bit with this change, because I desperately want to be the gal who works at the same company for 30+ years and retires with a gold watch, and that isn’t lining up with the path God has me on. And it’s good – because it’s through change that God changes me.
But that doesn’t make it any less hard, or scary, or unknown.
It would be so fun to write this and say BUT WAIT! Look at what I have lined up for that “next thing!” I could show off an achievement, a move that put a silver lining on it and wrapped it all in a bow. But I don’t. I wish I could tell you that we’ve been so diligent with our finances that it’s all fine! I don’t need to work! I can be a stay-at-home mom! But I can’t. We weren’t. And there are some real gaps in our budget that mama needs a job to help fill.
I shared with a friend yesterday that this feel like a very real season of grief. The stages are there – some days are wonderful and I can see where God is so clearly at work, protecting me from projects and platforms my soul simply wasn’t prepared to handle. And other days I’m sad or angry or confused and have to lean desperately into Him moment by moment to be reminded that my worth isn’t found in my work. I’m not only loved because of who I know or work with. I am good enough because God has called me and claimed me and comforts me.
When this journey into the unknown was first revealed to me, I asked some close friends to be my prayer warriors. Because I’ve learned over the last few weeks that, although God isn’t revealing “what’s next,” He is firm that I not go into it alone. Not a single prayer has been wasted on me, I can promise you that. And I have held tightly to their messages of hope and excitement on the days when it was hard to be excited about the unknown.
God, the one and only—
I’ll wait as long as he says.
Everything I hope for comes from him,
so why not?
He’s solid rock under my feet,
breathing room for my soul,
An impregnable castle:
I’m set for life.Psalm 62:5, The Message
- That God’s next best thing for me would be revealed and in place by Sept 15th
- That He would restore and redeem the hurts and hard parts of this past season
- That He would give me a fresh vision for how I can serve His daughters
- That my hope would be in Him and not a job
- That I would be obedient to His will and not strive to make myself comfortable
- That He would be honored and glorified through this transition
It has been a beautiful season, full of rich relationships and incredible opportunities. But God knows where He needs me next, so I’m trusting that His ways are better than mine and that He will provide in ways far beyond what I could ever ask or imagine. And so we go, into the unknown.
Sarah Damm says
I could have written this, as I am in a very similar situation. I have been working in women’s ministry for about two years, and recently God has invited me to step away. In some ways, it just doesn’t make sense. I am doing good work with amazing women of faith. But I got the clear message from Him that this just isn’t His will for me at this time in my life. So what, then, Lord? I have no idea! It is hard to feel “left behind,” and I fear being forgotten. I love what you said, “I’m not only loved because of who I know or work with. I am good enough because God has called me and claimed me and comforts me.” At the same time as I wrestle with this, I also feel hope that He has something in store if I wait on Him. For now, He is inviting me into more prayer and more leaning on Him. And that’s a comforting place to be. On top of all of this, my youngest (of 6) just started Kindergarten, so I am also experiencing an empty nest of sorts. After 14 years of being a stay-at-home mom, now what? I have no idea about that either. 😉 I trust that God has me and God has you, Crystal, safely in His sacred heart. I will certainly pray for your transition and all that God has in store for you. God bless you and your family!
Kelly S says
I stand with you. I spent the summer in waiting, between jobs, worried. It’s time to work and I’ve done more pushing than believing. Your prayer, your faith—both encourage me to choose faith over fear, to trust rather than rush. In the spirit of Gideon, I asked God for wet wool this morning. Your tears anointed the wool I set out. They are not wasted.
Praying for your direction and soon to be revealed path.
Crystal…I have no words, other than “well done.” Obedience is ALWAYS hard, but we both know that it’s also always worth it. I am moved by your willingness to go into the unknown with Him. Will be praying for you!
Michelle Acker says
Wild Obedience, girl… WILD! So proud of you not only for being obedient, but for putting this example out there for others to see. Definitely will be praying for you in all the ways. xoxo
The security of a steady income in a predictably good job with measurable advancement was *definitely* an idol in my life. Having a steady job seemed like such a simple goal. I’m not sure that I’d paint it that God specifically kept me from all that in some cosmic ‘thing’ per se (the economy completely sucked for a new grad entering the job market, so there’s also that), BUT I can really say I would have strongly resisted going into entrepreneurship by any other means had circumstances not left that as my option. That was the story behind my Write 31 Days series last year actually. Hope things come together for you as fast as September 15. Will be praying!