I don’t remember when I decided that red was my favorite color, or what set of circumstances made me realize that I had an eye for detail, a creative mind, and just enough talent to love the arts (All of them. Music, photography, literature – I’m an equal opportunity lover of creativity). Many of the little details that make me who I am happened without much thought. But I remember the day I told myself I was done being shy.
- The shy, reserved girls with their noses in books were never the ones invited to the fun events.
- The introverts were never chosen to lead anything.
- The quiet ones missed out on opportunities.
At least that’s the way it appeared to my junior high mind and I was tired of being lonely and quiet. So I made up my mind to stop being shy – I would look people in the eye when I spoke. I would walk with confidence. I would be out-going and make friends easily and be a leader.
I laugh a little when I think about it. Now that I’ve had the chance to settle in to this personality that God has given me, I can appreciate the introverted side of my spirit – but also the determined, focused side that had me believing all those years ago that I could force myself to become extroverted. Part of my plan worked, I suppose. I now look people in the eye when we speak & can convince myself I’m more confident than I feel. But I’m exhausted, not energized, by being around a lot of people, I’m easily overcome by sensory overload in new places, and yet – God keeps calling me to community.
Do you want to know which spiritual gift I secretly find most terrifying when it comes to community? Hospitality.
Come find out more, and learn what I plan to do about it, today at (in)courage!