“Somewhere in Texas an older reader just fainted.”
Dying. First, I know this post is late getting to you today. I had every intention of writing it at the last minute yesterday like I usually do these things, and I woke up feeling TERRIBLE. I have made it through the entire winter/cold/flu/plague season without getting anything and now? When it’s supposed to be spring, but we have snow everywhere, NOW I catch something?
I blame the hundreds of small children I helped at “fun day” last week.
So, I’m lacking sleep, I’m basically reading these chapters as I type up my thoughts to you, and I found it far more important to hop in line to get Hamilton tickets this morning. So there you go. Also, yay me, I was number 1349 in line when tickets went on sale at 8am, and by the time I was done buying my super nosebleed tickets, there were 71,000 people waiting.
71,000. I wish I could have virtually invited them all to pre-order my book while they waited 😉 Since most of them will have plenty of free time this summer NOT seeing Hamilton.
I think I’m avoiding writing about this first chapter because it makes me blush and feel weird and I would for sure skip book club night when we talked about this one. But here we go.
The lie: I’m Bad at Sex
The takeaways: Nope. I can’t even. Sorry. If you’re reading this book with some friends, this is a GREAT chapter for you to talk about with people who are safe and real and know you.
The discussion question: Uh…
The lie: I Don’t Know How to be a Mom
The takeaways: This was one of the chapters that really, truly resonated with me. It’s a lie I think I’m still working through, even though our little one is 6 years old, not 6 weeks old. But here’s the thing. I never thought I would be a good mom. I never really wanted to have children, because I was pretty sure I would mess it all up. And even after God changed my heart about that, our first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, which made me even MORE positive that I was going to be a terrible mother. There was nothing glowing or lovely or fun about being pregnant – I was full of anxiety and worry and fear. And although Rachel says that you can’t fail at a job you were created to do, I’ve failed at this motherhood thing a lot. I’ve had to apologize more for the mistakes I’ve made in the last 6 years than in all my years before combined. But I am starting to believe that when I tell women that God doesn’t make mistakes about where we are, who we’re called to serve, and the work we’re called to do…that it applies to me, too.
The discussion question: How has your “tribe” helped you navigate motherhood? Have you ever considered taking a social media break during major life events to avoid the comparison/FOMO trap?
The lie: I’m Not a Good Mom
The takeaways: “Mom, you should parent in whatever way works for your family and spend less time worrying about other people’s perceptions of how you’re doing….Being a perfect mom is a myth – but being a pretty good mom, most of the time, is actually possible.” I know we live on opposite sides of the country, but these last two chapters make me feel like Rachel is in my head, watching my life, listening to my thoughts. One of the reasons I’m so passionate about Holy Hustle is because I was tired of feeling guilty for loving the work I was doing. I knew I was helping to provide for my family, but I also knew that it meant I would miss out on some moments. I’m currently working 3 jobs, with another role about to start up again for farmer’s market season, and launching a book – so I can’t go into Madi’s classroom as often as I used to. I can’t volunteer for all the things, or spend 20 minutes walking her to the school to stand outside with her until the bell rings. I’m going to miss a field trip because I’ll be recording my audiobook. But those are all things that God has said “yes” to this year, so I’m choosing to forget about being all-things-to-all-people and instead show my daughter what it looks like to do the hard work of being obedient. I do struggle with the “taking care of me” part though. My “all or nothing” personality tends to quickly turn that into laziness, or an excuse to spend what we don’t have in the name of “self-care.” But trying to workout a few days a week and knowing that Madi can entertain herself for an hour has been so good for me – and making sure I’m intentional about creating quality time with my family on the weekends when I’m not working (and not answering texts, emails, IG messages, and phone calls when I’m not on work time) has felt like self-care, too.
The discussion question: How do you take care of yourself as a mama? Where do you struggle to feel like you’re doing “enough” with your family?
Next Time: I’m not sure why I thought we should read 4 chapters this week on the original schedule, so there is an updated reading schedule for you below! I also forgot about a field trip this week and Easter break shuffled around because of snow days, so we’ll do our Facebook Live on Friday instead 🙂 For next week, read chapters 10-12