I travel this weekend to go to a place that holds my heart so tightly it almost hurts. And instead of being excited, I’m anxious. Do I really belong on this trip, in this place, with women and a team that I admire so much? What if they meet me in real life and it’s not the same? What if I don’t impress or live up to their expectations?
This trip, these people, this company? God has opened doors with them but he has also closed some big ones that make me feel like I’m not supposed to belong right now (or ever?) and that hurts in some giant sized ways.
If I’m honest, this struggle with belonging is something that happens to me a lot in community, especially when I feel like I’m trying to break into the “cool kids” club. The enemy whispers sweet nothings softly in my ear: you’re not good enough, you’re not creative enough, you’re not smart enough, you’re not enough…otherwise they would have opened the door to your dream without a second thought. Someone else deserves this, but not you.
Those whispers? They’re nothing alright, but they aren’t sweet. Am I insecure about how I belong on this trip and where I fit in with this beautiful group? Without a doubt. Do I trust that God has a reason for orchestrating it so that I would be able to go? Again, without a doubt.
If you think of it this weekend, would you say a little prayer? Prayers for safe travel as I join with some amazing, wonderful, talented, inspiring, “cool kids” at Dayspring to brainstorm, plan & present? Pray for peace as I leave hubs & the kiddo for a few days, and prayers that I would remember that my confidence comes from the Lord, not my own abilities. In Christ, I belong. And for this trip, my heart will just need to focus on that truth.


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I find posts like this so interesting — mostly because I feel this way about a lot of the opportunities that come my way.
I consider you to be one of the cool kids but, like Jessica Hoover said, we are all cool kids! 🙂
Peace and love to you!
I had to keep myself from laughing while reading this because what the heck YOU WILL BE ENGULFED IN LOVE AND HUGS all weekend. DUH. You belong with us, just as much and even more than I belong in that place. I’m 20, I barely have an online presence, and I don’t know what all my dreams are. And I’m walking into that building and those rooms with a head held high, no matter how nervous. Because He goes before. And yes, it will be all kinds of weird and maybe a little awkward, but it will be beautifully weird and once we all meet, we will Breathe. Easy.
The thing is, no one belongs. And from that, we all belong. I promise, we’ll both be fine and when we feel like we aren’t, I’m a good hand holder. Because the whole “too much” and “not enough” has always been one of my biggest struggles.
Bless her travels, Lord. Give her peace, courage and boldness that can only come from you. Amen.
Sweet sister,lifting you up and walking with you as again God reminds us that in His Kingdom we are all cool kids. Happy travels!
Crystal,
What a sweet reminder that we all belong in Christ. Yet, this also speaks deep into the hurt and comparisons and desires to be with “the cool kids.” And yet, those kids are just like us…just maybe further down the road? Or maybe just God waiting to breathe whispers of Truth in a different way? My prayers are with you and may you plan big things for Jesus! Love that!
Dear Crystal
I love this; in Christ I belong! We were created for that and until we do, our hearts will never be at rest!
Blessings XX
Mia
praying for you dear.
I just love your heart and please know I AM praying for you. And I just know God has something SO amazing ahead. Just watch and see!
You are so wanted. And you so got this because He has equipped and gone before you. Be yourself and you will be a blessing. We know it’s hard- coming face to face with those who only know us from behind keyboards and laptops. But it’s the real-life experience that bring real life change in us and through us. Many many blessings and much fruit for your weekend! They are blessed to have you 🙂
You got it friend! Prayers for the weekend… but even more – for breakthrough into all that He has for you and victory in knowing (or remembering sooner) how to silence those whispers and lean in to what He is saying about you… for we know, with Him – we always Belong! How exciting to have this opportunity… I am sure that you will be amazing and will be able to look back on this weekend and see that it was another step in the direction that He is leading you in!
Two words – ROCK ON! Keep doing what it is you do. Feel free to stand at the mirror and say it to yourself – I Rock. I Rock. I Rock. Created uniquely, especially and carefully – you are right where you need to be. And again I say – ROCK ON!
Oh Crystal, we’ve all been there…thinking we don’t belong in the cool kids club. Fact is, we are all cool kids in Christ! I hope your trip is as wonderful and exhilarating as you hope and expect. Safe travels, friend. And let us know how it all goes!
I have absolutely no need to write now. I should just post a link to you! Now that my big Allume push is done for the moment I can start to get anxious over these very same things. I sit and think “Are they crazy? Do they know who I’m NOT?” It kinda flips my stomach around. I don’t really get intimidated by people – even well-known/famous people – but there is something about this that is so different. It definitely has to do with a feeling of not belonging. So glad we are leaping together here – hold my hand? 🙂
Crystal, friend, I could have written this —- if I was in the cool kids club 😉 I have these same whispers but in a different season – the whispers that say “why do you think they would want you???” I’ll be praying for you this weekend, and praying that I wouldn’t feel jealous of where you’re at 😉 love you tons. Hope you have a blast!!!
It’s going to be amazing! I believe in you and what He has placed in you. I see it in your words 🙂 He’s got such the plan. That is exciting 🙂
I can’t tell you how often I think of you in this new place called your life. I pray for you daily and will continue to do so…hugs to you my sweet friend.
Crystal~ praying that every time your feet hit the floor, you feel the weight of Christ in you crushing the serpent under your feet. Hope you come home filled up, ready to pour out. Many blessings to you!
Oh friend… I am wrapping you in prayer in this very moment. You are brave, you are courageous and God has called you for such a time as this… My heart squeezes so much reading this because I have felt those same things, thos same insecurities. And when I think about how much you have come around and surrounded me with prayer and love and encouragement. How you have asked the right and difficult questions of me welll… I can’t hardly type because my eyes are leaking and the screen is blurry. You belong friend… right where you are… you belong. You Beloved, You are Cherished. You are His. I love you and sending you the biggest virtual {HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG} EVER.
Crystal…will be praying that peace surrounds you this weekend…and that you know you belong because you are His. Satan tries so hard to get us to believe those lies and I struggle right along side you in that. I hope you have the most amazing time this weekend. Blessings.