There are days when I feel like I can kind of do this mom thing. When my little girl giggles and naps well and brings people joy with her smile. When she’s happy, healthy, and full of life, I feel like I can believe with a little more of my heart that God knew what he was doing when He chose me to be her mommy.
Do you realize how quickly that can all crumble away? With a glance that makes me feel like my child is too loud. With words that criticize me for neglecting to do what you think is best for my child, you who never had children. With comparisons and advice and sighs when I tell you how sweet it was to snuggle my girl to sleep and all you can tell me is that I’m building bad habits.
Suddenly, I’m a failure. And my Irish is up, because you aren’t criticizing just me, but how I’m raising this blessing from God and you’re telling me you could do it better.
Why can’t we speak kinder words over mamas? Why do we have to point out the flaws, the better ways, the horror stories of what happened when someone you know did it that way? Why not pray for those weary mom hearts that pour out constantly and struggle on their knees in prayer and in tears to try to do the right thing just one time that day for their little one?
It’s more than meals in the first two weeks home from the hospital. It’s life long, the desire to be filled with encouragement and love. I don’t want you to tell me how to do this mom-job of mine. I want you to stand beside me, bring me a cup of coffee, hug me when it all falls apart, and cheer with me when it goes right. And tell me over and over and over that I’m not a failure. Because the world might try to convince me otherwise, and I need you to live life with me, to see the giggles and smiles and joy with me.
There are days when I think I can do this mom thing. But I can’t do it without you.
Crystal, you spoke what was in my heart so beautifully. About a month ago I was all riled up about the “just wait” comments I kept hearing. Our son was so very close to crawling and we were so excited. But the first thing out of everyone’s mouth was “just wait” … until you’re chasing after him … until he’s dismantling all the electronics in the house … until nothing in your home is safe. All the negatives that just drown out the positive. Moms soooo need encouragement and good words. Hugs, and a shoulder to cry on. Thank you for painting this need so lovingly. And yes, your daughter is so lucky to have you!
You know what, Madi will turn out to be a wonderful, loving little girl even if you do snuggle her to sleep! You do what feels right to you, trust your Mumma instincts! You know your baby better than anyone. Don’t listen to all the horror stories, I wish I was closer to tell those people where they can shove their advice! Your a wonderful Mom!
Oh you have me in tears. Thank you, sweet Allume buddy 😉 I’m blessed, truly, to be in such wonderful company. Love that comment, “negativity is joy poison”…praying to lead a sifted life 🙂
YOU- My friend Crystal – Are doing it ALL right! You LOVE your sweet babe – want the best for your family, and strive to SHINE! That is all that matters. Gather up your sweet smile, and keep striving! You bless me, and I cannot tell you enough – Negativity is Joy poison. Take the good, and sift the criticism. Love to you!
September
Honored and encouraged so much by this. I saw a mom yesterday who had a nearly fatal momfail. I so badly wanted to just give her a hug and tell her how much I’d been praying for her and would continue to do so. This could catch on, I think.