She looks like she has it all together, doesn’t she? You see her lead worship at church and she’s got the cute shoes and the awesome hair and the necklace you love. And you’ve got a toddler smearing peanut butter on the artificial plant in the lobby who likes to scream loudly when denied gummy bears.
Or you see her online and her presence comes with a platform that builds women up through books and devotionals and small groups and she does it with ease. And you blog quietly and wonder if God would ever have something like that in your plans because you’re an introvert who isn’t sure she’s cut out for community anyway.
Maybe you catch a glimpse of her on social media raising money and traveling and speaking and helping and making a difference with confidence and grace. And you wonder if what you’re doing is a waste of time because even if you wanted to use your talents to end poverty or slavery or .. or .. or … your voice wouldn’t be loud enough to cut through the noise and gather an audience.
Do you know what you need to know about her?ย
She doesn’t have it all together. She’s afraid, she struggles, she has doubts and insecurities and feels the weight of loneliness in leadership. Set apart but never invited in. Involved but invisible. Scared out of her mind because God is asking her for wild obedience and she’s sure it’s going to result in failure. Because there are expectations, ย titles, assumptions that come with the platforms and they make her feel like she might just be a fraud who doesn’t deserve any of it.
It’s easy isn’t it? To reach out and invite those around us into our lives and assume that the women we admire have enough friends, are too busy, wouldn’t want to be bothered.
Do you know what you need to know about her?
She’s looking at what you’re doing, the friends you’re making, and the way you follow God so beautifully in your ordinary moments and she wishes she could be part of it. Just as a friend, not because of what she brings to the table or with any expectation that she’ll do it well at all. She’s cheering you on as you chase toddlers and inspire with your words with a part of her heart that would just love to sit down with you for a cup of coffee.
We think we know, don’t we? We see snippets of life online or in passing and piece them together into a quilt full of holes, scraps of reality that we assume present the entire picture. Maybe this week we choose to see the space between perception and reality and cover it with a patch of kindness, a bit of grace, and kind word with no expectation. What if we stopped looking at her as the person we wish we were and instead look at her as a fellow weary warrior in this race God has set before us?
“A fellow weary warrior” —yes this.
crystal, I know this girl. every word of this post rings true. in a way, you are one of those girls for this brand new baby Christian blogger who is stepping out of her introverted comfort zone. wild obedience is putting it mildly. thank you. and the peanut butter image? perfection. ๐
Love that, Aly!
This post? Beautiful. Roni’s comment? What a testimony of God’s goodness here! Wow! You keep being you, just how God created you. Beautiful you. <3
*smooch*
This is a lovely reminder that the glimpses we see of someone’s life doesn’t necessarily tell the whole story. We all have gaps that we may not readily share and extending grace is a beautiful way to bridge those gaps. Thankful for your vulnerable insight on all of us “all together” women. Blessed by your sweet permission slip to be flawed and imperfect. With gratitude.
I’ll take flawed & imperfect over fake & boring any day ๐ Plus, I’m a tired mama..I’m not sure I have the energy to be anything other than what I am!
Always finding a way to speak right into my heart. So very thankful for your honest words.
So thankful for you!
“What if we stopped looking at her as the person we wish we were and instead look at her as a fellow weary warrior in this race God has set before us?” Such a true question, Crystal. Such a convicting one as well. Love this post, friend!
Aw thanks Holly ๐
I treasure you, friend. ๐
Big hugs to you, Mel!
Love this.
Thank you ๐
So you know what is funny? I mean not ha ha funny but sad funny. I read this, shared this, took deep breaths over this realizing how many times I think these thoughts. I wanted to comment but didn’t. My head thought what can I say that will tell her I am thankful for her, she already knows she is awesome, why would it matter? But, I have come back. You are a rock star in my books Crystal Stine. Like seriously! Thanks for being who God made you to be. Blessed to be in your world. With Joy, Carey
Gah..what?! YOU are the rock star, girl! So blessed to know you ๐
You have such a beautiful way with words, dear friend.
Janelle
Thanks Janelle ๐
Love this. I believe community (real community) is built upon shared weaknesses, and being broken together… because when it’s only built on those “scraps of reality” it’s a clique.
Oooh that’s good!
So Much Amen my friend! So Much! I LOVE the invitation to “choose to see the space between perception and reality and cover it with a patch of kindness, a bit of grace, and kind word with no expectation.” Patches of Kindness and Bits of Grace! (That’ll Preach, girl!) <3
Ha! I’ll try to remember that if I’m ever asked to speak anywhere ๐
I agree with Diane Bailey /
Yes, I love the way you bring the reader into the setting and reveal your message.
“Maybe this week we choose to see the space between perception and reality and cover it with a patch of kindness, a bit of grace, and kind word with no expectation.”
Women need other women who are real so we can heal and rejoice in who we are. Love you Crystal. You are amazing!
I agree with Diane Bailey.
I do too!:)
Love YOU Diane ๐ Thanks for sharing you sweet words & beautiful smile in this space ๐
Oh, yes. I had one of those “peanut butter on the artificial plant” moments, in front of the perfect mommy, at my son’s preschool recently. Being that he’s #4, I’m typically not even shook up by them anymore (probably due to a sheer lack of energy! Ha!), but that morning…oh, it’s still in my mind. I could have just crawled into a hole, and have sort of been ruffled by it ever since…ugh. My heart needed these words. Thank you.
lol I love you ๐ Coming here with this comment, to say “me too”? It made my mama heart breath easier. Thanks for that.
Beautiful. This choice brings so much freedom. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Eileen!
So wonderfully put! I’m just the ordinary looking at you Crystal as the extraordinary! Hoping one day God will help me to touch lives like you have. Maybe one day we ciuld share a cup of tea/coffee. May God contiue to bless you ๐
I would just love that ๐
We really are “fellow weary warriors in this race God has set before us”. Let’s show some love and grace! Thank you, Crystal. Abundant blessings to you and yours!
And to you, sweet Mari-Anna!
Yes. Yes. This–all of this. Love you, sweet friend. So much.
Love you too, Kris ๐ You make me feel brave.
You are brave. โค๏ธ
Crystal, I wish I knew how to tell you what you’ve done for me. Your post was the first one in my inbox this morning. Two or three weeks ago, I had no idea who you were, and my heart had been running from God for over a decade. I was where you are more than ten years ago, and I got so sad and frustrated that I walked away and tried to figure it all out on my own. I created a pretty big web presence for myself in the world, until last year, when that public presence attracted an online hacker and our identities were compromised and it all came tumbling down. When I came here for the first time, I was really broken. I read that post about you running wildly flailing toward God. It was such a beautiful mental image to me. I loved the title of your blog, “We saved you a seat” and that spoke to me. Such a simple thing but so welcoming. You shared a scripture that actually made me open my bible again. And here I am a week later, meeting Him in my window seat every morning. It might not sound like much, but I hadn’t talked to God for real… in so long. He could have, and would have used someone else I suppose but he didn’t. He used you. To reach into the heart of a 48 year old woman who was where you are once and chose to walk away. The internet has made it so much harder in some ways for some of us. It’s too easy to look out there and see all the mighty things that others are doing and feel sooo small. But now.. being so small in this window seat with Him, has reminded me that when it comes right down to it, in the end, it’s really just me and Him anyway. Thank you for what you did for me. For me, it was really big.
Oh Roni – I don’t know that I have words to tell you how much I cherish this comment. Thank you for sharing your heart & some of your story with me – praying those window seat moments are blessings for you.
Love to you, Crystal. You’re reaching hearts. I’m sure sticking around, cause He speaks loud and clear through you. Have a great weekend!