I have a problem with the “n” word, and that word is “no.”
I like to think that I’m a recovering people pleaser, but frankly no matter how hard I try, part of me always feels guilty for saying “no.” To be honest, any day I might actually forget to be a people pleaser probably just means I’m too tired from being the mama of a 5 and a half month old that I don’t have the energy to think beyond my next diaper change.
I don’t think God wants me to say yes to everything. In fact, last weekend at our (in)RL gathering we spent a lot of time talking about this and I heard these words come out of my mouth:
“Sometimes when we get so burnt out from saying yes to everything that we have to say no to the next opportunity purely out of exhaustion. And what if, when we get to that point, the thing we say no to is actually what God wants us to say yes to?”
So what if. What if I stopped feeling guilty when I say no to something because I’ll know in my heart that it’s not what God wants. And by saying no, I’m leaving room, energy, time, for what God has down the road? I start to think of my time and my plans as not my own (brilliant, right? yeah. slow learner) and as gifts from God. I stop being disappointed when things don’t work out, and I stop feeling guilty that I might be disappointing someone else. I trust God to put people in my life who understand that my “no” isn’t a slight against our friendship but taking care of myself & my family.
I tried it today. I said “no” to something I wanted to do, but knew it wasn’t where God wanted me to be. And guess what?
My sweet friend understood. There was no guilt. (Thank you). I might be able to conquer my problem with “no.”
Is it easy for you to say no? How do you handle feeling guilty?