I’ve been known to go to God with something on my heart and impatiently wait for Him to answer. I remind Him that I’m not particularly gifted in receiving messages, listening, or understanding what it is that He wants me to do, and maybe – just this time – He could just text/email/sky write it for me?
The not knowing? It’s like traveling in thick fog, knowing the road is under you but not sure when it will end, what’s up ahead, or when the road might curve. I pray often for wisdom in those moments, never feeling sure of my own abilities to understand where and when and how and why – and I usually ask desperately, without pausing to wait for a response. I don’t like those parts of the journey. I don’t like the unknown, the unseen, and in those moments where I feel shrouded from the next step/plan/event that God has for me, my mind can start to imagine the worst – it’s where my over-active imagination meets the enemy’s plan to distract me from my purpose and I focus on feelings rather than Truth. In the fog I feel:
My feet trust that there is a Light to my path, but my heart feels all the emotions that come with not knowing. And then I read about how God met with the Israelites in the Old Testament – a cloud that marked His presence with them as they traveled the wilderness, and I wonder. What if we looked at the moments where we feel like we’re traveling in fog, unable to see our way out, as God meeting us under the cloud? What if it’s in those moments where we can’t see the next step that He’s waiting to lead us? It’s there, in the cloudy moments that He prepares us to travel in faith because when that cloud lifts – God’s people are to be on the move.
I want to be ready. I want to slow down into those quiet, still moments and learn to listen to what God has to say over my life. I still wouldn’t mind a few answers sent in the mail or a timely word from a good friend to help me along the way. But until then, I’ll keep asking for direction and wisdom, and I’ll keep learning to listen, and I’ll trust that the unknown times are necessary to make me ready for the big reveal – in God’s perfect timing, when He knows I’ll be brave enough to take the next step.