When I was in the thick of corporate ladder climbing, I had an image in my head of what success would look like. It would include a team to manage, a beautiful office, a fancy title on a business card, and a feeling that everything I did and said would be treated with respect and importance.
I fought for that for far longer than I’d care to admit. In fact, I started to act like I’d already achieved my imaginary level of success long before anyone around me agreed. I made sure I was working on the most important projects. I fought for recognition. I worked long hours and chose my career over most other things in my life so I could convince myself that I was important. I was needed. They couldn’t manage without me.
But they could.
And my self-centered attitude and need for recognition made me a miserable person to be around. I would look for ways to push myself to the top, forgetting that true success comes from serving others, not serving myself.
I’ve found myself falling back into those old thought patterns again the last few weeks, looking at the projects going on around me and trying to find ways to be included and invited to join the ones I viewed as important, significant, recognition-worthy. When the desires of my heart don’t line up with what God has planned for me, I become envious and bitter, and I wonder Why not me? instead of How can I support her?
As my heart began to feel heavy, a friend encouraged me to ask God to reveal the root of my feelings of discontentment and discouragement. Then He brought me to a passage in Romans I’d never paid attention to before.
Will you join me over at (in)courage today to read the rest, and find out what happened when I discovered Phoebe?