Because of your unfailing love, I can enter your house;
I will worship at your Temple with deepest awe.
Lead me in the right path, O Lord,
or my enemies will conquer me.
Make your way plain for me to follow
Psalm 5:7-8
There are few things in life that I long for. God has blessed me with an amazing job, the best husband in the world, and a comfortable life. I do, however, long to know the “right path.” Where does God see my life going? Am I doing the right things, what He expects of me?Β
I’m struck by the knowledge that, even in my failings, confusion, and wandering, God’s love is unfailing. Entering the house of the Lord and worshiping with “deepest awe” is a highlight of my week, and He never turns me away.Β
Lord, make Your plan plain for me to follow.
The Blog
2010
Ok I really hate New Years resolutions. What a waste of time and a set up for certain failure, right? So of course I’m setting one this year π I would like to make a goal, not a resolution, to blog at least once a week in 2010. I have a terrible memory, so what better way to record the highs, the lows, the answered prayers, the unexpected joys…and since I’m in front of a computer all the time anyway, it should be easy, right? Ha. Pray for me!
Things to look forward to in 2010:
Isabella Grace! My beautiful niece will be arriving this month
Matt’s 27th birthday
Our first missions trip together to Brooklyn (at the end of July..Lord help us!)
Our 4th wedding anniversary
Loads of music – Matt may be joining a worship band!
Planning and seeing the hosting of the Beth Moore simulcast at our church come to fruition in April – I pray that the Lord would guide us in this one, it could be a huge outreach and ministry for the women in our communities!
And those are only the things I know about π God is so wonderful, and I am so blessed to have been given the opportunity to start another year with my amazing husband. This year I’ll be lifting in prayer our plans to start a family (the when’s and how’s and all that), as well as working to give the control over my job to the Lord. May He do with my job what He deems necessary for the working of His ultimate good plan.
“Yes, Lord, walking in the way of Your truth, we wait eagerly for you, for Your name and Your renown are the desire of our souls.” Isaiah 28:6
Why?
There are some days that leave you in tears on your drive home, scratching your head and wondering “why”? Maybe “why not me” or “why them” or “why did they think that was an appropriate way to do that”? Today was one of those days.
I’ve been trying to find a way to balance fighting/standing up for myself at work, and being humble. Today it was impossible. After being asked to plan a meeting for the officers of the bank, and being put on a committee made up of all male officers and two other women who were not officers, I poured time, effort, creativity, and anxiety into it only to be slapped in the face. The supervisors of the two non-officer women PROMOTED THEM DURING THE MEETING! What? Why? Why was I left to be embarrassed, sitting by myself at a meeting full of officers as the only non-officer in the room? Have I not been working extra hours? Volunteering? Sucking up to people I don’t even particularly like?
Unfair. Why didn’t my boss THINK that maybe I would be hurt by this? I know I’m acting slightly childish (the temptation to lay down and kick and scream isn’t really helping that perception), but this is hard for me.
Tired of fighting. Tired of being so emotionally attached to my job. Tired of being overlooked and asked to help reward others. Tired of being stretched by God and not knowing why. Just tired.
Nasdaq!
Life has been absolutely crazy lately. My latest work adventure was a trip to NYC on October 19th to join the bank’s BOD and Executives to ring the closing bell at NASDAQ! What a blessing – and a once in a lifetime experience. I’m not sure there are many people who can claim to have done something like that before the age of 30, and without being an executive!
I’m so blessed to have my job. Even though my boss can annoy me and I’m under a lot of stress because of how well the bank is doing (more business = more work), I’m honored that my boss fights to make sure that the “higher ups” consider me a rising star. I don’t know that I would have had these opportunities or been able to grow professional had I stumbled into a University position right out of college, like I’d planned. God has some great things planned for me through this job, and I pray that I’m prepared to fulfill His will!
Other things that I’m loving:
Already buying holiday cards & gifts at work is putting me in a fun holiday mood – even though it’s not even Halloween!
Sisterchicks Bible Study – loving it. Unfortunate that I feel like my prayer requests and needs can be overshadowed by those more verbal and emotional, but I know that God hears them anyway.
Janelle is going to have her baby literally any day now! I can’t even believe that miss Aubrey will be joining us! And Kat is already in her third trimester..time is flying. Wonder when Matt and I will feel the “call” to start a family?
Post church potlucks with friends – adore this! We prayed for mentors and were blessed richly! Praise God!
National Youth Workers Convention this weekend in Ohio – Tony Campolo will be one of the speakers! Ahh! Can’t wait π
Psalm 19:14
“Let the words of my mouth
And the meditations of my heart
Be acceptable in your sight,
O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer”
I love that verse so much! Not only because I have it memorized from my days at Wayne Presbyterian (they would pray it over their sermons every Sunday), but also because it’s the focus verse for “Me, Myself, and Lies,” the new Bible study I’m doing with my siestas π Plus, it’s the prayer of my heart recently to really be able to glorify God with everything I do – including what I say and think!
Yesterday I had some really wonderful time with a dear friend. We went on a walk to chat and catch up, and ended up caught in a thunderstorm! We were soaked through and through, but laughed our way back to the cars. What a memory! God is so good and faithful, even in the middle of the storm. Praise you, Father.
A few thoughts on this Wednesday:
1. I have an incredible boss and really great team at work – I’m so blessed!
2. I need to learn to think and pray about decisions at work before just saying “yes” because I think I can fill a need.
3. God is going to great things through this MM&L study – I’m praying that I can fill whatever role He wants me to have without trying to control it all!
4. I love this photo & wish I had sisters-in-law as fabulous as Sarah & Esther π
Too much
I think I might be trying to take on too much. Not at work, or at home, but with..of all things..Bible study! I came away from the Living Proof Live conference so energized and with a new desire for God’s word that I’ve decided to sign up for everything that comes my way. I’m in the middle of Victoriously Frazzled, an amazing study that is SO perfect for my life right now, and I’m also working through The Love Dare journal (based off of the Fireproof book/movie). Now that is a tough one – I’m being challenged more than I thought with that study, but I feel like God is really going to bless my marriage through it.
And of course, since I just adore Beth Moore (random note: went home for lunch yesterday and she was on tv! DH watched it with me and laughed outloud almost the whole time. He enjoyed it as much as I did!) I’ve been following her blog http://livingproofministries.blogspot.com and got really excited about the Siesta Scripture Memory Team and also the new Siesta Summer Bible Study. I think though, that I need to sit down and figure out if I can do it all, and if God really wants me to tackle all of this right now. It would certainly be a better way to spend my time than sitting on my tush in front of the tv!
